5 Child Torture Treatments Any Adult Would Love

They say youth is wasted on the young, and for once, "they" are right. This thought stuck me as I made the announcement that it was bedtime a few nights ago at 8:30 p.m. The announcement was met with shrill screams and feet stomping, by all three of my children. I mean, really, what the hell? They have clean, comfortable rooms. They've been on the go all day long. It's bed, not prison. I think I might drop dead of happiness if someone forced me into bed before 10 o'clock at night. It got me thinking of all the things they fight that I would love ...


1. Having my hair shampooed. The kids scream bloody murder when I shampoo their hair. When my hair is washed at the salon, I have to restrain myself from stuffing dollar bills in the shampooer's pockets just to keep her going a few minutes longer. Why the big fight?

2. Having my toenails cut. It's called a pedicure and I pay good money for it. There is simply no reason to carry on like I am actually pulling out your toenails.

3. Being given clothes. When my kids are gifted with clothes, they moan and whine. God forbid I actually pick out an outfit for them. I recently had my closet taken over and it's the best thing ever. I don't ever want to go back to dressing myself.

4. Eating home-cooked meals. It's a complete and utter joy to be cooked for. I mean, it almost never happens, but when it does, I feel like the luckiest girl out there.

5. Being told to nap or have quiet time. I mean, seriously. On the rare occasion when I'm able to nap, I feel like a new person. Naps are a wonderful, wonderful thing. And quiet time? I dream of quiet time.


What do YOUR kids fight that you love?

Image via scarymommy.com

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