Righteous 5-Year-Old Says Marriage Can Wait (VIDEO)

Marriage, for kids, is one of those irresistible topics like guns, fairies, princesses, and poop. No matter how much parents pooh-pooh them (sorry), the kid gets obsessed with them anyway -- either for their pure fascination or as an act of rebellion. 

It doesn't seem to matter how ultra-liberal the parents are, or even whether mom and dad are married themselves. The wee ones want to speculate on who they're going to take up the aisle.

I don't know if it's the dresses, the cake, the social conditioning, or the genes. They may propose that they marry their baby brother, big sister, Mommy, teacher, or Iron Man (who as we all know is a total playboy and could never be pinned down), but the idea of marrying itself is clearly irresistible.

Well there's a very shrill and damn funny 5-year-old who is actually shouting a very different tune.


I DON'T wanna marry someone if I don't have a job first. If a man comes asking me, running out, NO! I don't wanna marry you yet. I want to have a JOB. And if he says, I will not come back to you, FINE, I'll find a different man. This is my life, you better stop caring, I'm not, I'm not gonna do anything for you, until I have my job. I don't care if I marry you, I don't care if I marry another man. I care if I do something that's SPECIAL.

Oh, you've already done something that's special little sister. But you should keep at it anyway, stay strong, and do lots of special things, before the culture with its crappy rom-coms and Us articles breaks you down and you settle for one of the clearly unworthy men you're talking about.

That's some very effective family editing too, the best I've seen since "Kittens Inspired by Kittens." Her big sister should be up for an Oscar.

I must confess, though, that I'm concerned my current method of picking up the ladies -- running out and asking girls if they'll marry me (before they have jobs or have done something that's special) -- won't work on the next generation. 

Of course real progress would be the little lady entertaining the idea of maybe not marrying at all, if the circumstances and man didn't suit her just right. But her sassiness is a good start. I wonder if she has forward-thinking attitudes about princesses, too. And poop.

What do you think of this sassy 5-year-old?


Image via YouTube

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