Whitewashing Your Facebook Makes You a Non-Mom

FacebookWe all know a mom who tends to overshare on Facebook. You've not only read status updates about her kid's bowel movements but had to grab a vomit bag when you realized her profile pic is actually said kid's first "poopy in the big boy potty."

They're bad. But is there a worse kind of Facebooker out there? I call her the whitewasher. She has a profile on Facebook, and there's no sign that she has kids. No photos. No names. No status updates. Nothing.


In this era of "OMFG, pedophiles are everywhere!" it's not unusual to find that rare parent in the playgroup who says, "Don't you dare tag my kid in your pictures." Fine. That's her right to do it. But generally even her profile has some sort of reflection that she's got little ones at home. Maybe her status this weekend said "snow day with the kids" (notice, no names used) or under "about me" it says "mother of 3."

No, she's not the villain here. It's the woman who's on Facebook all the time, but has yet to cop to having kids at all. Her feed looks like a whirlwind of activity that could just as easily be ascribed to your 24-year-old single kid sister. She's out on the town having drinks! She's out at the gym getting fit! She's out, out, out. And she's got pictures to keep you apprised of every moment of every day.

But none of her kids. It's hard to tell whether she's trying to protect them or if she's embarrassed by them. Especially considering the reputation Facebook has gotten for breaking up marriages by hooking up two long lost loves. If you're trying to bag an ex flame via the social network, what won't you stoop to?

Then again, she isn't doing anything wrong. At least not technically. Perhaps villain is too strong a word. There's no evidence she's beating her kids or abusing them in any way. There's simply no evidence of the kids at all. Which is ... odd. Yes, odd. Because while it's dangerous to let your kids define you (see above: profile pic of kid's first big boy poop), it's almost impossible to keep them out of the most social of forums without some sort of ulterior motive. Even at work, where you strive to be professional, it's not uncommon to have a photo of your child on your desk or to make a passing mention to your colleague that Jr. has a pre-school play this weekend.

Have you encountered these women? Do they bother you?


Image via Facebook

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