Being Pregnant Does Not Make You a 'Mom'

Not a mom yet!
Pregnancy is a wonderful transition time. A time where the world seems full of possibility and excitement. It is a time of planning and anticipating, of imagining and cocooning. However, it isn't motherhood. It just isn't.

I bristled every time the midwife called me "mom" before my appointments the first time I was pregnant. After all, I  just wanted the opportunity to enjoy my nine months.

I was a mom-to-be and quite happy to be one.

This is not an argument about when life begins, though it could be. This is a black and white, crystal clear difference: unless your child is in your arms, you aren't a mom. Be happy about it.


There are many times I wish I could go back to the excitement and anticipation of that first pregnancy. What is more fun than nesting with your partner, planning the future, and preparing for all the major life changes that are about to take place? Why would you want to rush that?

Those nine months are a wonderful and weird sort of limbo. You are not a non-parent, exactly, but you are also far, far from a parent. If you call yourself a "mom" already, then you are in for a rude awakening when you actually are a mom. Moms change diapers, feed their children on the outside, and have to wake up multiple times a night. During pregnancy, you don't do those things Be thankful.

Throughout my pregnancy, when people would call me a mom, I would always answer with a "not quite there yet." Because we weren't. It is a temporary state that only lasts nine months out of your life. Even if you have a future pregnancy, you are already a mom. So why not let it be this unique time? Why rush it? Why call yourself something you're not?

You are a pregnant mother-to-be, not a mom. Not yet anyway.

Do you think pregnant women are "moms"?


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