10 Judgy Mommy Retractions

A Kid on a LeashBefore I had kids, I was one judgmental non-parent. Put a damn hat on that kid, it's freezing! Ever heard of shoes, lady? Inside voices, for the love of God!!! What was wrong with these parents? It was parenting, not rocket science, for crying out loud.

But, then I had children and I got it. I got it all ...

1. Confusing kids' names. I never understood why parents would go through each and every child's name when addressing their kids. Now, I rarely get the name right on the first try. "Lil-Be-EVAN" is how I often address my children. I mean, I know their name, it just isn't ever the first one to roll of my tongue.


2. Kids without coats. Sure, they might be chilly, but it won't kill them. Hardly a battle worth having. I get it now.

3. Pajamas outside of the house. I remember once seeing a toddler in the grocery store wearing pajamas at 4 in the afternoon. I thought it was one of the trashier things I'd ever seen. I wouldn't even blink now -- they're dressed? They're happy? They're planning ahead four hours? Win!

4. Character clothing. It's just so trendy and ugly and so not cute. But the kids love it and it makes them happy, so I buy the Spiderman and Toy Story apparel. But I still don't like it.

5. Snacking at the grocery store. Can't the children wait until the food has been paid for and bagged before diving in? How rude! Now, I see that it's simply a survival mechanism for the rest of the trip. Goldfish, anyone?

6. Toy guns. Guns aren't funny. They kill and they hurt and they should not be a game. I still believe that, but the water guns I gave my son last year turned out to be a gateway gun and now he owns four.

7. Yelling at children. What kind of horrible parent yells at the creature they love more than anything. A better question: What kind of parent doesn't?

8.  Fast Food. With childhood obesity being such an issue, why would parents continue to shove fries and cheap meat down the throats of their kids? Because it's easy, that's why. Chic-fil-A's play area has saved my sanity on numerous occasions and in moderation, I'm completely fine with it.

9. Child leashes. These seemed practically torturous! I still haven't actually used one, but in busy places, I think they're kind of genius. The kid feels in control, but you have control. Does it get better than that?

10. Car DVD players. I swore up and down that I would never be a parent who resorted to this. I survived never-ending  road trips and car rides with my books and music, why would any child need more? Because it shuts them up, that's why. And it's a beautiful thing.

What were your big no-nos before having kids? Have you stuck with them?

Image via wenzday01/Flickr

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