The Five Stages of Pregnancy Breasts

Abbey Clancy was strutting her first trimester pregnancy breasts out on the catwalk during London's Fashion Week this week.

Seeing her next to Kelly Brooke, who is most famous for her gargantuan rack, I was pretty impressed. Granted Clancy is a lingerie model, but those early pregnancy breasts are something to behold.

And oh how I missed mine. It's a fleeting time, those early breasts, but for a couple months, before the tummy catches up, it's as though you get a free boob job.

Why hello perky, full boobs! I'm so glad to meet you!

That isn't the only stage your breasts will go through. Oh no. In the infamous words of Robert Frost, "Those tatas have miles to go before they sleep, girl." That's what he said, right?

And so, I give you, the five stages of pregnancy boobs:


Stage 1: The Pain-Cave: I spent the first few weeks of my pregnancies in agony. If air touched my breasts, I would cry. In fact, for me, this was my first sign of pregnancy.

Stage 2: The Water Balloons: First they hurt like crazy and then they're huge. HUGE. And they're fantastic. I was always a busty girl, but my pregnancy breasts added a new dimension. They were full and perky in ways my pre-preggo boobs were not. I wanted to be topless all the time.

Stage 3: The OMGMyHusbandCan'tStopTouchingThem: Naturally, these would be the third stage because most men love boobs. Argue all you want, but it's true. I have had male friends tell me that secretly they loved having their wives pregnant because it was the first time these guys got to play with huge boobs.

Stage 4: The Leaky Faucets: Soon after the boobs have become spectacularly large, they start to prepare for breastfeeding. For an unlucky few, they start producing colostrum here. I never had this situation, but for some, it can be rather shocking to leak yellow liquid from your nipples at this phase.

Stage 5: The Mama Cass Phase: A few weeks before delivery, everything is strained to capacity and this includes the breasts. You may feel a little like the Boobs That Ate Manhattan, but just wait. Breastfeeding boobs are right around the corner.

What do you think of your pregnancy boobs?


Image via Getty


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