15 Big Fat Lies Real Moms Tell Their Kids

I pinocchio lies liarlie to my kids. There I said it.

And yes, the lying is a little shameless. Sometimes I lie to make them do something I think is good for them ("If you don't eat your vegetables, those new cool shoes are never going to fit."). Other times I lie to keep their behavior on track ("I'll watch the secret video tape later and see if you did it, so you might as well tell me."). And still other times, I lie to cover my own @ss ("The tooth fairy overslept?!! Again?!! I'm going to write her a complaint email!").

Turns out, I'm not alone in my lying ways either. I asked the mom community to share the best lies used on their kids, and wow, you all are GOOD. I logged a few of the really good ones into my memory for later use.

Read on to stock your liarface arsenal.


12 More Lies Real Moms Tell Their Kids:

  1. Sleeping TV friends. "Dora and SpongeBob are sleeping right now. Sorry." -- pookah1203
  2. Park fairies. "The park is closed because the park fairies have to clean it." -- cutebaby06
  3. Music truck. I told my kids that when the ice cream truck was playing music, it was out of ice cream ... grandpa taught them real fast that's not true. -- kvaneyk
  4. Tired toys. "You have to put your toys to bed or they will be too tired to play tomorrow." That is how I got my two-year old, almost three, to start putting his own toys away. -- TexasWife
  5. Birthday on hold. I told my middle son that he couldn't turn three unless he was using the potty. That it violated the rules of the universe. Totally worked! -- mitch576
  6. Display only. "The toys/candy are just to look at, not to buy." -- cutebaby06 (**LOVE THIS ONE** -- totally going to use it!)
  7. Bathing animals. When my kids want to go to the zoo (they are five, three, and two) and we don't have the money to go, I tell them that all the animals are taking bubble baths because they are so stinky. -- Jessica.Mariaa
  8. Hungry dryer. The dryer ate my 6-year-old son Landon's favorite pair of underwear ... and socks ... and jeans ... all in the same week. (They were all SO holey!! I had no choice!!) He told me I could have his piggy bank full of pennies to buy a new dryer! -- ChelseySpelsey
  9. Important talks. I tell my kids that mom and dad have to have a talk to make them hurry and go to bed so we can "do our thing." -- JvilleMom125
  10. Soda is poison. I tell my DS (4) and DD (3) that soda is poisonous to children but not adults. I tried telling them it wasn't good for them, but they still asked for it. Now they don't ask at all. -- pumpkinbrat116
  11. College is required. "It is against the law to get married or start a family without a college degree." -- ruejacobs
  12. Sex is no good. "Sex is a waste of time and it doesn't feel good at all." I have a teen daughter. -- strongerthanB4

But some moms choose not to lie to their kids at all:

  1. I don't lie to them. I simply tell them "no" and why instead of giving them a fake reason they shouldn't or can't do something. To me, that is easier than having to remember whatever BS reason I gave them before. *shrug* -- wickedfiress
  2. Honesty is the best policy for our family! -- catholicmamamia

I can see their point. I mean, how are we supposed to keep our kids honest if we're fibbing all over ourselves to them? We're just giving them free lessons for using lying as manipulation. Is that a good lesson?

I'm not sure if I can stop lying now though. I might be pathological.

Do you tell lies to your kids for one reason or another? Are these kinds of lies harmless or harmful? And please do share your best lies, moms.


Image via The Wolf/Flickr

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