Unless you live in Argentina. Or Greenland. Or the penguin exhibit at the zoo (a girl can dream, can’t she?), you’re schvitzing right now. This is the time of year when I start wishing my office had a rooftop pool, or at least one of those misters they have stationed around Disney World so tourists don’t pass out walking to the Country Bear Jamboree.

That’s not going to happen, though, nor is my proposed Bathing Suit Fridays, so I went ahead and did the next best thing -- chopped all my hair off. And I’m not the only one who’s in the mood for a short 'do -- Emma Watson took it all off, and, most recently, so did Evan Rachel Wood.

For celebs, going short isn’t that big of a risk -- shell out a few hundred bucks for some extensions and they’re back to flipping their long movie star locks around. For the rest of us, though, taking the short hair plunge is a big, scary deal. Here’s how to not fear the shears:

Cindy BarshopReal Housewives of New York is back for Season 4, and there's a new Housewife on the block, ladies. Introducing Cindy Barshop, who's 46 and a single mom by choice of cute 15-month-old twin girls, Jesse and Zoe. Of course, inquiring moms want to know how such a seemingly nice, self-made woman like Cindy got her "in" on the Real Housewives.

Well, she hangs with the fancy people of New York, of course. She knows costar Ramona Singer from the Hamptons (well, la tee da) and Jill Zarin was a client at one of her hair-removal spas. Barshop owns a popular chain called Completely Bare. And that's not all! She's also credited with inventing a service that makes a woman's vagina sparkle like the top of the Chrysler Building. Oh yes.

Frenchie's unfortunate pink dye job in Grease notwithstanding, getting haircuts and beauty treatments from student stylists can be a great way to save yourself a lot of money when you want to look good. While the stylists are still in school, they usually are pretty close to graduation before they are turned loose on the general public; at many schools, that means they have at least a year of classroom training under their belts.

The Aveda Institute has salons across the country where you can get not only haircuts, but spa services, super cheap. At the one near me, a cut and color cost me $54 ... and the best part? No tipping allowed. After doing this a few times, I am pretty convinced this is the best bargain going. Paul Mitchell also runs a chain of schools, or you can try Beauty School Directory.

Of course, getting snipped by student stylists is a little bit different than the usual salon experience. Here are ways to get the most out of your visit:

Over at the always-relevant Daddy Issues blog, Mike Adamick tackles the toddler mani/pedi. And as usual I'm feelin' him -- his 3-year-old wants a salon pampering experience for her birthday and he wants one, too.

Sounds like a great idea to me -- some relaxing daddy/daughter time. Especially the "pedi" part. I've never had so much as a foot rub. Seems every girl I ever went out with was a huge pedi-phobe, when it came to both giving and receiving. Gave me a foot complex I'm not sure I can overcome so easily.

Dear Men,

We understand, and appreciate, your (strange) attempts at being as good-looking as possible for us.

Manicures were odd. Man Spanx was pushing it. But this new Brozilian wax trend you boys are doing to, well, your "boys" is just wrong.

Trust me, waxing all of it hurts, and we all know that women have more of a pain threshold than men do (hello, childbirth!), so when we say you can't handle it, you probably cannot handle it. Plus, you have balls -- you think getting kicked there is painful? Ha.

It won't make your junk look bigger; in fact, you'll look like a prepubescent boy, and no one wants to play with that. A little trim is all that's necessary.

Thanks,

The Ladies

First there was waxing pubic hair into shapes, next there was vajazzling (applying crystals to the mons pubis), and now there is the latest trend in vaginal adornment -- "vatooing." And if you've ever looked at your vagina and thought it looked rather plain and boring, it may be for you.

The process is very simple.

Using a stencil and some airbrushed paint, an aesthetician paints a tattoo on your upper vaginal area that lasts between 7 to 10 days. Of course, this is assuming you will avoid friction, which kind of defeats the whole purpose of vaginal adornment in the first place.

Nevertheless, the final result is cute ... if by "cute" you mean weird. Because, dude. It's weird.

Anyone who has ever gone into Sephora and balked at the price of lip gloss knows that beauty -- and particularly high-end beauty -- doesn't come cheap.

But some of the spa treatments offered are downright obscenely priced.

Take the $460 facial offered at Tracie Martyn's spa in New York City. The facial involves the use of a special device that delivers electrical currents that cause temporary muscle shortening, allegedly lifting and tightening the skin.

And they get worse.

Have you ever gone into a salon with a magazine tear-out of the type of haircut you wanted, only to come out looking no where what you had in mind? I know I have.