Don't expect any wardrobe malfunctions at the 55th annual Grammy Awards this Sunday. There is a new policy in place banning booty- and boob-revealing looks, according to Deadline Hollywood. A memo warns stars they may be turned away if they show up over-exposed:

... Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible “puffy” bare skin exposure ...

What are RiRi and Lady Gaga to do? Those outrageous outfits are half the fun. In fact, if this rule had been in place in years past, many of the most memorable -- and scandalous -- Grammy looks would have never seen the light of day. Take a look at the crazy couture we would have missed out on!

Though the majority of them are anything but intentional, wardrobe malfunctions really seem to be a dime a dozen these days. From boobs accidentally popping out on the red carpet to celebs forgetting to cross their legs while stepping out of a car, we've seen more than our fair share of exposed body parts.

But one designer must work under the "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" philosophy -- because that's really the only plausible explanation for why Alexandre Vauthier debuted his "nip-slip" dress at Paris Haute Couture Fashion Week.

I wandered across a question on the web today that made me stop: "Would you pawn your handbag?" The fact that there are broke women who actually are brings up a better question, y'all. Is there really anything in your closet worth selling?

If you lost your job, and putting your favorite fashions up on eBay was the best way to pay the bills, would you be able to eat or getting evicted? I'll go first. Quick stock, and I'd be out on my American Eagle-clad you-know-what. It makes me kind of sad ... and not just because I couldn't feed the family off of what's in my closet.

Recently I've been thinking that my shoes are kind of boring -- always with the soles and the laces -- so unoriginal. If only there were some footwear out there that made me stand tall in a crowd and stand out among the masses. If only there were a shoe that could aerate the lawn just as effectively as it could kill a hateful passerby or get me backstage at an Iron Maiden concert. If only ... until now.

Haute couture designer Iris van Herpen, who's been called the Alexander McQueen of tech geeks, has teamed up with shoemakers United Nude to fulfill our unrequited fantasy. Introducing ... the fang shoe.