Please, for the love of all that's good and holy -- don't tell me mom jeans are suddenly stylish again. (Were they ever, really?)

Yes, mom jeans -- as in jeans that sit so high up on your waist they practically cover your bra line. As in jeans that make us look old, frumpy, and like we've given up on looking remotely presentable simply because we have children.

And if you thought the mom jeans thing died out a long time ago, think again. Believe it or not, Topshop is selling high-waisted jeans, and calling them mom jeans like it's a good thing -- and it scares me to think there are women out there who might actually purchase them.

Clothing stores, let Target be your cautionary whale: do NOT, under any circumstances, name the plus-side version of one of your dresses after a large underwater mammal. That's exactly the unfortunate circumstance Target found themselves in when a sharp-eyed shopper happened to notice that the retailer offered a standard size dress style in "Dark Heather Gray" while the plus-size version was labeled as "Manatee Gray."

Yeah. Awkward.

It sounds like this was a legitimate mistake on Target's part, and if you ask me, the company did a hell of a job heading off what could have been a public relations disaster.

Mariah may go back like babies and pacifiyahs, but it's Khloe Kardashian who's actually the girl who's on fiyah. The youngest of the Kardashian sisters, Khloe's always been known as the funny one, the smart-ass one, the one who's really tall. That, however, is changing. We heard that she was trying to transform her image to make sure she was invited back to host the X Factor, and after her appearance at the Kids' Choice Awards Sunday night, dayum. Khloe's certainly on her way.

Kate Middleton has wowed us in the past with her hats. She basically taught us everything we know about fascinators and classy chapeaus. I mean, the Duchess of Cambridge even managed to make potato chip headgear look good. But guess what. Kate got cocky. Likely thinking that she could pull off anything, our pregnant Duchess chose a knit newsboy cap for volunteer training at a local scout camp.

Listen, the only two people who can pull off a newsie hat are those young kids in the '20s and Brad Pitt. But Kate's not alone. She joins a long list of celebrities who've tried the newsboy hat, and have failed. Extra, extra, read all about it:

This past weekend, I had what is probably best described as the single worst shopping experience of my entire life. I ventured into one of my favorite, go-to stores in the hopes of finding a couple of new dresses and/or skirts to perk up my spring wardrobe a bit.

And when I first walked in, I was delighted with the selection of bright colors and different styles. I couldn't wait to try a bunch of pieces on and have a fun little fashion show while strutting my stuff in front of the three-way mirror outside of the dressing room the nice sales girl stuck me in. (What? You never venture out of the room so everyone else in the fitting area can tell you how great you look?)

One part of my body that I 'sacrificed' for the sake of my children was my stomach. Things pretty much went back to normal after I had my daughter, but after giving birth to my son, a 10-pounder, I had to come to terms with the fact that my tummy would never be what it once was without the help of plastic surgery.

This to me is no biggie -- I mean, that's what Spanx and shapewear swimsuits are for, right? But now comes this awful, horrific news: Crop tops are all the rage for spring.

Crop tops.

I'm imagining groans of horror from 95 percent of the moms out there. Are you one of them?

So the beauty confession of last week was that Sarah Jessica Parker's high heel habit has deformed her feet. However! That news does not deter me from my love of gorgeous shoes, even though they are often painful and might one day cause me to grow extra bones in weird places as Parker says happened to her (ouch!).

So now that spring is springing, I’m looking lustfully at all the pretty, impractical footwear out there that's almost but not quite as impractical as the world's most uncomfortable shoes. After all, it's just about time to burn my winter boots in a bonfire. And here's my own little confession -- don't judge me! -- I'm TOTALLY into TOMS cute new wedges.

Here are 7 pairs of spring and summer heels that I’m ogling, because even though most of my warm-weather moments will be spent in flip-flops, it’s good to have something sexy for those occasions where you don't have to actually walk!

It's here. It's finally here. The Bachelor finale is tonight, and I, like millions of fellow Americans with nothing better to do than watch pretty people pretend to be in love for the sake of ABC, am very much looking forward to our last nine-hour episode tonight. Who will Sean Lowe pick? Will it be cool girl Catherine Giudici or plucky Missourian Lindsay Yenter? Or will Chris Harrison announce he's transitioning into a woman and that he and Sean are running away together?

All that remains to be seen, but there are, in fact, some spoilers. Photos of the girls' finale dresses have been posted online, so let's take a sneak peek at their sartorial selections and judge, judge, judge a roo.