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    Hey everyone, great news! A men's magazine has just given us permission to age. It's official: 42 is no longer "tragic." That's what modern, totally enlightened New Man Tim Junod writes in an article-length back-handed compliment titled "In Praise of 42-Year-Old Women" in Esquire magazine. Apparently we can still be hot and funny and OLD at the same time. And you know what? On behalf of all 42-ish women out there who came thisclose to the brink of tragedy, I CANNOT WITH THIS. There is absolutely, positively, ZEROdy-nothing new about 42-year-old women being sexy and compelling. Nada!

    I could drop the mic and walk right there. But because I'm on the verge of getting my period (insert sitcom laugh track), I have more to say. Here are some of my favorite lines from Junod's article.

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    Out of all of the '80s supermodels, Christy Turlington Burns always stood apart from the pack. The 45-year-old stunner, who was the face of Calvin Klein Eternity perfume -- and continues to pose for the brand -- wasn't into partying like Kate and Naomi, and her classic beauty meant she'd never be a swimsuit calendar star, like Cindy Crawford.

    But don't cry for Christy, folks. The yoga enthusiast and mom of two has one heck of a healthy head on her shoulders. We recently learned (as if we didn't already know) that she is the anti-Kardashian in one major way: the woman is NOT afraid of growing old and looking her age.

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    You're making a statement any time you wear a printed T-shirt. It's like wearing a bumper sticker on your chest. You're saying, "This is me, this is what I'm all about." So what exactly are you saying if you wear a tee with the word "BLOW" printed in big capital letters and images of cherries on the shoulders? I'm thinking you're saying something along the lines of, "Hello, world, I would like to make the sex with you now. Yes?" Except this is 2014, and the clothing I'm describing is actually from Beyonce's emoji T-shirt collection, so ...

    Well, why don't we let you have a look at it and you can decide if this top is too crazy to wear in public or what.

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    It's easy to look good when you're a teenager or in your 20s. Your metabolism is faster, you can get away with wearing ridiculous fashions and no one bats an eye, and -- the least fair fact of all -- you can stay up all night and somehow won't look like a ghoul the next day (what's that about anyway)?

    Most women accept that they have to work a little harder as they get older. And some are a lot like these 8 female celebrities -- they actually look even more gorgeous the older they get.

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    The following is a post from our sponsor, Simple.

    I feel like I’ve been on auto-pilot most of my life as a mom. I’ve had things so meticulously scheduled that I could get a boy to his baseball practice and his sister to her tutor, in opposite directions, within minutes of each other. I’ve had a chicken breast baking in the oven while watching a Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. ceremony at school. I’ve juggled jobs and sports and homework and done it all while trying to be the best mother and wife I can be. I’ve done okay, I know I have, but along the way, I haven’t always taken as good care of myself as I should have.

    My structured little life was full of way too much stress. I hate to admit that simply spinning around in circles or rushing from activity to activity would wreak havoc in my heart. That it would make my pulse pound faster than my spinning head and that maybe, just maybe, I should take a break.

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    Nothing is nicer than a day out at a spa. And what better day to escape and relax than on Mother's Day? Except for that niggling feeling of guilt you get celebrating the joys of mommy-hood away from your kids.

    Lucky for you, we've got a fix that gives you the best of both worlds -- and saves you a bundle, too! This Mother's Day, make it a Mommy & Me spa day. Don't worry, we're not saying you all "relax" together (because we are not naive fools). We're saying that this year, put the kiddos to work with these fun, safe, practical, and wallet-friendly at-home spa treatments. They're so easy a kid could do it -- and this year, they will!

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    Kids. They sure have a way with words sometimes, don't they? On the one hand, they keep us on our toes and in a way, they also help keep us young.

    But then there are those times when something so outrageous comes out of their mouths that ultimately reminds us that we're most definitely not cool anymore. As in we're washed up. Aging. OLD.

    In fact, just the other day, my son discovered one of those Viewmaster slide viewers in my mom's basement -- and he's been mesmerized by the damn thing ever since. He's so obsessed that he told me he wants to "start collecting vintage items ... from the 1980s."

    (Are you freakin' kidding me? I think I just found another gray hair.)

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    Celebrities are always beautiful. It's part of what draws us to them. They don't always have to be stereotypically gorgeous, but they are all lovely or handsome in their own jaw-dropping way. People's annual Most Beautiful edition celebrates the hotties who dwell not-quite-among us. I'm sure you've gotten in more than a few debates with your friends over who makes their infamous list.

    This year they're trying something different. And by different, I mean ... slightly weird but in the best possible way. They took a page from Oscar Wilde's Picture of Dorian Gray and brought it to life. To celebrate all 20 of their 'most beautiful' cover models, they photoshopped them as they look today posed beside younger versions of themselves. What's craziest to me about this gallery is that almost across the board, the stars look better now than they did when they were younger. 

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    When it comes to skincare, I have good intentions, but, well ... I'm kind of lazy. I mean, I'm sometimes lazy; other times just plain exhausted from my day. However, I'm not getting any younger, so I've been working to make sure I don't flake out too often on my skincare routine.

    Here are some of my tips and tricks for taking care of your skin without spending a lot of time and effort ... from one lazy girl to another!

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    Could someone please help me? I've gone temporarily blind from seeing something I didn't want to see this morning. Something my brain is desperately trying to forget. What was it again? Oh no, I remember now: Oh God -- it's the sight of Cher wearing glitter heart pasties. I would tear out my eyeballs now, but it's clearly too late. The damage is done. 

    Cher wore bright red, sequined, heart-shaped pasties in a performance for her "Dressed to Kill" tour. DRESSED TO KILL INDEED. This was just one of many eye-stabbing costumes the 67-year-old matron of glam wears in her show, including something that looks like her "Turn Back Time" strappy bondage bodice. Do you dare feast your eyes on Cher with glitter heart boobs? Do you?!? 

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