My Monthly Brazilian Wax Isn't for My Husband

woman bathrobe relaxing

People spend their money on things that make them happy. I happen to enjoy shedding a few coins on a treatment that brings great discomfort: waxing. Yes, I'm a mom of two. No, it's not a mandatory requirement for my marriage. I just happen to like them.

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Have you ever tried one before?

I know it sounds crazy to talk about someone's "vagine," but here we are. Who knew something as personal as south of the border maintenance would be a topic for discussion. I didn't think it was that controversial, but maybe I'm wrong?

Since I'm being honest about my own "lady box," I figured it's important to set the record straight. I get a Brazilian bikini wax, that doesn't take everything off. Now one time, at band camp (haha, kidding), I was talking too much with a waxer, who was filling in for my regular gal. I didn't notice I was, erm ... a little bald until I got home.

More from The Stir: The Brazilian Bikini Wax -- Would You Dare?

Now that we're officially acquainted with each other (my blood type is O negative, by the way), let's keep chatting.

To me, I think personal grooming (nothing too crazy) is important. It's been close to a decade since I started my waxing journey, and I can't imagine ever doing anything else -- except maybe sugaring, and laser hair removal (I really love my new waxer, so I feel I can't leave her). Sure, I had an experience similar to The 40 Year Old Virgin when I first started, but I've since learned the importance of thoroughly trimming.

Plus, things tend to work like clockwork the more you get waxed.

Oddly enough, I started waxing simply out of curiosity. Living in Baltimore, I wasn't exactly a beach bunny, where I had to worry about my tan and bikini line -- but did know a few ladies who did it on the regular.

I hated shaving, I hated those pesky razor bumps, and thus, welcomed the sticky alternative. I was sold on the fact that I didn't have to do any vaginal grooming for 4 to 6 weeks.

That in itself deserves a hand-clap of praise.

Sure, it's a little odd when you first meet your waxing professional. It's hard to transition from, "How's your day going?" to, "Please don't judge my labia," but you'll survive! Actually, I became pretty close with one of my estheticians before I left the east coast. Not only did we take pole fitness classes together (is that weird? It's actually great exercise, but we can talk about that another day), but she did my entire wedding party's makeup on my special day. See, you never know the connections you'll make in life (saved me money too).

When I first met my husband (well, not the first time), he thought I actually waxed for him, hahaha. So cute, but sorry, the answer is no. Don't get me wrong, I love him -- and try (we both do) to keep things spicy in our relationship, but waxing is a personal thing I do for myself ... and if he happens to enjoy the fruits of my hair removal, that's great.

Eight years (almost four married) and two little boys later, some girlfriends of mine still scratch their heads at why I continue. I think, if you have funds in your monthly budget (diapers are no joke), it might be worth making a priority. After all, you don't want to go back to razor days if you're used to waxing. Trust me. I've also tried to save money with those diy wax kits. Let's just say I'm not savvy in that department. Plus, my new esthetician happens to be a fellow mom with her own waxing business. My cooch is literally helping her live her dreams (I'm all about the entrepreneurial endeavors).

More from The Stir: Make Your Own Wax...For Hair Removal

As far as time goes, most sessions only take 15, maybe 20 minutes, so it's not like you can't carry on with your day. Aside from finding someone to watch your kiddo, a wax session can still be manageable in a mom's life.

"Isn't that selfish to spend that much money on your vagina, now that you're a mom?" one of my friends asked me. My response is, why not? You do so for your hair and nails, and those don't personally benefit your child. Is waxing really that different?

In fact, I don't see anything wrong with moms wanting to steal a few minutes for themselves each month to enjoy something that doesn't involve their kid -- wine included.

It doesn't make you selfish at all.

Waxing, however, can make you feel like Beyoncé. Now, I don't know if she uses honey from her "Bey hive" (silly joke, sorry) to wax -- but girl, I feel like a million bucks after my monthly appointment.

...Then I remind myself I need to drive home, and come back to reality.

In the grand scheme of things, $50 a month (thank goodness for Oklahoma prices, y'all!) isn't any different from what you would pay to get your toes painted, or hair done weekly or bi-weekly at the salon. In some cases, you might find it's actually cheaper -- even though it won't be on display for the world to see.

And it can last for over a month? Child ... that can save you awkward run-ins with your kid, should he or she happen to bum-rush the bathroom, while you're trying to shave your vagina.

If you want to wax, power to ya. If you don't, power to ya. All I can tell you, is that this mama is a waxer, and unashamed.

 

 

Image via Blend Images/shutterstock

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