'Sexy Halloween Costumes for Moms' Are Seriously Hysterical (PHOTOS)

You've probably got one looooong Halloween to-do list as it is, but don't forget the most important item: Getting your sweet mama butt into a sexy Halloween costume. We're kidding -- ain't nobody got time for that! Besides, you're already sexy doing your mom thing. Just ask blogger Suzanne Fleet of Toulouse & Tonic, who created a series of Sexy Halloween Costumes for Moms.

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Hot, heavy, and convenient costumes -- just for you! Because if elephants and Donald Trump and hamburgers can be sexy, why can't you be ... in your robe and slippers? Is that any less absurd? And anyway, now that you've spawned young it's no longer "appropriate" for you to go out tarted up like a sex slave from Game of Thrones, according to your judgy neighbors.

This is the second year Suzanne has mocked sexy Halloween costumes (see her original Sexy Halloween Costumes for Moms), and the new series is every bit as real. Is it just me, though, or are these costumes actually genuinely sexy in spite of themselves?

Take this "Tantalizing Trash Can" featuring Suzanne herself. I mean, she's wearing yoga pants, and everyone knows those drive guys wild. Plus she's not even recycling that wine bottle. What a bad girl!

More from The Stir: Brutally Honest 'Sexy' Costumes for Moms Are Utterly Hilarious

Meredith of Mom of the Year is also wearing yoga pants here, too, FYI. And by that come-hither look she's giving the camera it looks like she's DTP with the lucky man who gets down on the floor and helps her clean up all those toys. You'll have the whole, empty rug to yourselves after. Just saying.

What is Ellen of Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms wearing underneath that robe? Wouldn't you like to know. Probably not something sensible. Maybe if you do the scooping for her she'll let you take a peek.

More from The Stir: 10 Totally Inappropriate Halloween Costumes for Moms (PHOTOS)

And finally, Paige of There's More Where That Came From is positively glowing at eight months ... well, okay, she looks kind of tired, actually. I think she wants you to draw her a bath and then take the kids for the rest of the afternoon.

Okay, we know Suzanne Fleet is satirizing all those over-sexed Halloween costumes we see every year, especially the costumes that have no business being sexy at all. And that's hilarious. But I think what these costumes slyly say about moms is that actually we can be sexy, thank you very much. On our own terms, and with loads of humor.

At least the sexy mom is based in reality. Does anyone actually want to have sex with a hawt jellyfish? (Don't answer that question.)

For that matter, why are most of the sexy costumes for women? I asked Fleet how she would design a costume for men. "My ideal sexy dad costume would not be an ironic one -- it would be my husband dressed in his chef's apron, cooking dinner with my boys as his sous chefs, and I'll be the accessory sitting on the couch drinking wine."

Now that sounds truly sexy to us! 

Check out the rest of Toulouse & Tonic's Sexiest Halloween Costumes for Moms and the original Sexy Halloween Costumes for Moms now. The descriptions will slay you.

Suzanne Fleet is the writer and humorist behind the award-winning blog Toulouse & Tonic, and mom to 2 stinky boys who fight about the stupidest stuff imaginable. Suzanne is a proud co-author of the New York Times best-selling book "I Just Want To Pee Alone." Next up: her own book of essays about finding the funny in the hardest, most unexpected parts of motherhood. Want more Toulouse & Tonic? Subscribe to her newsletter and you won't miss a thing.

 

Images by Suzanne Fleet of Toulouse & Tonic

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