Sorry Spanx, I'm Pretty Darn Awesome Without You

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Ladies, your shapewear is going to do a lot more for you than make you look slimmer and firmer. Starting this month, Spanx is slipping a little something extra into its packaging. Squee!

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It's a little message card reading "Don't take yourself or the 'rules' too seriously!" -- signed by Spanx founder Sara Blakley. And on the back of the packaging ... OMG, are you ready? ... It reads, "Re-shape the way you get dressed so you can shape the world!"

Oh. Um, thank you, constricting shapewear. That's awesome.

Ptth! Now that I've read that aFIRMing bit of feminist inspiration and re-shaped my derrier I can go shape the world. I wasn't prepared to do that before, what with my belly hanging out. Right???

Apparently we're wearing less shapewear these days because A) yoga pants are more comfortable and make us all look great and B) the word is out that shapewear is terrible for your health. So Spanx is trying to woo us back with a slightly less constricting fit and words of encouragement.

Whatever, Spanx. Seriously -- can we please stop with this? I don't need my soap to give me permission to feel beautiful. And I don't need Spanx to UPLIFT me in order to shape the world. I'm just fine, thank you! Really, I promise. I did a body-positive, self-esteem check before I left the house today and both were remarkably intact, despite my lack of shapewear or filmy soap.

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Good God, is this trend really happening? How do we make it stop? Because if my deoderant starts urging me to be more courageous, or my mascara starts singing that I'm still a woman no matter how thick or long my eyelashes are, I think I'm going to have to start each and every day with a primal scream. 

How do you feel about these messages from Spanx? Would they make you more or less likely to buy the shapewear?

 

Image via vita Spanx.com

 

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