'Underage Red' Isn't the Most Distastefully Named Beauty Product ... by Far! (PHOTOS)

Maressa Brown | Mar 18, 2015 Beauty & Style
'Underage Red' Isn't the Most Distastefully Named Beauty Product ... by Far! (PHOTOS)

woman applying lipstick at storeSure, we're all looking for the perfect lipstick color that totally complements our skintone and makes us look like we're glowing from within. Same goes for any kind of makeup really. But these days, if you're going to make cosmetics, you've gotta have a shtick. And by shtick, I mean catchy name. OPI, with their perpetually quirky nail polish monikers, isn't the only game in town, folks!

Unfortunately, in their attempt to sell us more lip gloss and bronzer with eyebrow-raising names, some cosmetics companies have pushed the envelope way too far. Case in point: Kat Von D's "Underage Red" lipstick, which recently, understandably caused a whole lotta outrage.

Here, 11 other cosmetics with inappropriate names that are really anything but cute.

Which of these is most jaw-dropping to you?


Image via iStock.com/Poba

  • Kat Von D's 'Celebutard'


    Image via Sephora

    Kat Von D's "Underage Red" isn't her first offense. In 2013, she was under fire for the name of this lipstick, which was ultimately discontinued. Not that she didn't continue to stand by its name, which "was inspired by the silliness of people who become famous for no reason outside attention-seeking behavior," she explained via tweet. Still, bad move, Kat.

  • Sephora by OPI's 'Irish I Was Thinner'


    Image via Sephora

    I mean ... really, guys? What the hell does being Irish or wishing you were thinner have to do with a PURPLE nail polish? SMH.

  • Stila's 'Chinois'


    Image via Stilacosmetics.com

    What a pretty cream colored shadow! It's probably called Cream, right? No. Its name is "Chinese" in French? Why???

  • Cheeky Monkey Cosmetics' 'Pearl Necklace'


    Eye-popping names appear to be this entire company's thing. And they even include mini-erotic stories on their site alongside cosmetics like this nail polish that probably isn't named after jewelry, if you catch my drift ... (Other polish colors include "Raunchy Bitch," "Hot Slut," "Pop My Cherry," and "Nail Me." Lovely.)

    More from The Stir: 7 Sexy Beauty Product Names That Will Make You Blush

  • Essie's 'Trophy Wife'


    Image via Essie

    We really have enough misogynistic, retro stereotypes to combat as a society without our manicures weighing in, don't you think?

  • OPI's 'Uh-Oh Roll Down the Window'


    Image via Amazon

    Because this is exactly what you want to think of when you look at your newly polished nails? Disgusting.

  • Cibu's “Washabi,” “Geishalicious,” and “Shang High” shampoos


    They can't be serious, right? But they ARE. They so are. And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse ... it did.


  • Sephora by OPI's 'What's a Tire Jack?'


    Image via Sephora

    Like, I'm a woman? So, you know, I'm so bad at, like, cars? Cuz sexism.

  • NailMe's 'Cuff Me and Stuff Me'


    Yes, you read that correctly. Makes the most graphic sex scenes in Fifty Shades look like a day at the playground. How classy.

  • OPI's 'Give Me Moor!'


    Image via OPI

    Nail polishes should be named after colors, candy, inanimate objects basically -- not ... an entire ethnic group.

  • CHI's 'Double-Fisted Fuschia'


    Image via Amazon

    Gross. Just. Gross.

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