Jessica Simpson's Muscled-Up Legs Are Very Distracting in Bizarre New Photos

Jessica Simpson is having a very New York fashion moment right now -- she is loving her noir black clothing. The singer and mother of two is generally someone I associate more with cowboy boots and brighter hues, so it's interesting and refreshing to see Jessica getting all goth on us. Did I say goth? I meant hippie. Or maybe sexy hippie? Honestly, her most recent look has baffled me a bit. She posted two photos on Instagram that show her insane, off-the-hook legs in a teeny little black dress -- that features wings. And Jessica in mid-flight. Oh, you really just have to see them to know what I mean.


So here's Jessica in the aforementioned LBD, which has an up-to-there hemline but is otherwise modest and covers her up. The long, voluminous sleeves are the obvious stars of this show, and Jess poses in a way that really showcases the extreme fringe:

We don't even have to talk about her calves here, do we? Because they could easily cut rocks. The first time I saw her in this dress, I wasn't sure if I liked it. It kind of reminds me of the mod and sexy '60s look Megan Draper wore in Mad Men while singing "Zou Bisou Bisou" to Jon Hamm's Don Draper, but her fringed sleeves take out a lot of the va-va-voom of Megan's sheer sleeves and replace it with hippie cool.

And, I'm sorry, but they also add a little bit of bird chic to her look. Bird chic. Not exactly a compliment, I admit, but like I said, I'm not exactly in love with this dress. Here it is from another, more bizarre, angle:

Is she performing black magic in front of her Christmas tree? Who is that person standing next to her and why has he stolen her soul? So many questions!

What do you think of Jessica's latest look? Would you wear this dress? 


Images via jessicasimpson/Instagram

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