Every time I walk into a public place, I am shocked and appalled at all the terrible style choices moms are making.
You may have had kids, ladies, but you're certainly not dead.
Since I can't nominate each and every one of you for a Stacy London and Clinton Kelly aka TLC's What Not to Wear intervention, I'm going to give you a small one of my own.
Please, for the love of fashion, stop wearing these 5 things right now. You're beautiful and radiant, but these looks aren't doing you any favors. And they're hurting my eyes.
1.) Capri Pants: Have you ever seen anyone who actually looks good in capri pants? Exactly. Neither have I. They're cut at the exact wrong spot for any woman of any height and weight.
And no, I'm not talking about skimmers, which are tighter, shorter jeans and pants. While they don't flatter everyone, they certainly don't add 20 years to your body the instant you slip them on.
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2.) Chunky Flip-Flops: Unless you are wearing an actual platform shoe (which, yay, good for you), flip-flops look best if they're very flat and very thin -- unless you're between the ages of 12 and 15. They are not made to give you support.
And if you still believe that wearing a certain kind of shoe will tone your legs, then you might be beyond help, my little pretties!
3.) Short Shorts: I'm all for hitting the younger style trends, but you have to take your body shape and your age into consideration to some extent. Stop shopping in the juniors section, moms, and find shorts that don't showcase your behind.
There are plenty of shorts in all sorts of different lengths, one of which will work with your figure -- and none of which are the barely-there pair you're wearing right now. You're not queen of short shorts Miley Cyrus, for heaven's sake.
4.) Maxi Dresses: I realize maxi dresses are still super popular, but I think they are terribly unflattering on short people. And, well, almost all people. Except if you're pregnant.
Or want to look pregnant.
And really, any time I put one on (yes, I've tried to like them), I feel like I'm wearing a nightgown.
Also, have you ever tried chasing after kids in a long, flowy, leg-constricting dress? It's impossible. On that point alone, they should all be burned.
5.) Crocs: It still boggles my mind that there are adults wearing Crocs in public -- and I don't mean in your garden or on your boat as nature intended. I mildly approve of them on kids, especially if you've got a couple like mine who hate to buckle or strap shoes, but on adult women? No.
There are plenty of cool, comfortable shoes for moms out there that look way more stylish and on trend.
So moms, you're lovely and fabulous. Start dressing the part!
Do you make any of these fashion mistakes?