Beyonce's New T-Shirts Are Too Raunchy for Real Women to Wear (PHOTO)​

beyonceYou're making a statement any time you wear a printed T-shirt. It's like wearing a bumper sticker on your chest. You're saying, "This is me, this is what I'm all about." So what exactly are you saying if you wear a tee with the word "BLOW" printed in big capital letters and images of cherries on the shoulders? I'm thinking you're saying something along the lines of, "Hello, world, I would like to make the sex with you now. Yes?" Except this is 2014, and the clothing I'm describing is actually from Beyonce's emoji T-shirt collection, so ...

Well, why don't we let you have a look at it and you can decide if this top is too crazy to wear in public or what.

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beyonce emoji tshirt

Right, okay. So here are the thoughts I'm having about this one:

1. It's not pretty. The cut is so basic. And it's a crew-neck. Why not a shaped v-neck? I mean, if you're going to write a sexy message, make the T-shirt itself sexy, too.

2. Cherries on my shoulder? I guess it's better than a chip on my shoulder, but they look kind of huge and weird.

3. So clearly this is a reference to Beyonce's song Blow, which I love. Will other people who see it know that? Or are you going to have a bunch of awkward exchanges where you tell the guy waiting behind you at the movies, "No, I don't want to blow you. It's a Beyonce song."

4. And to make it even more insidery, it's also a reference to the emoji video a fan made to "Drunk in Love." Which was delightful. But as a shirt, not so much.

More from The Stir: Beyonce's 'Drunk in Love' Done Entirely in Emojis Is Mesmerizing

5. Beyonce's album was all about hot married lovin' and I'm all for that. Wearing this around the house could be a coded way to say, "Tonight, after the kids go to bed, I want you to turn that cherry out. Also, could you please take out the garbage now? Thanks, babe." But only if your kids are under the age of 6. 

6. Then one day you wear it to a soccer game, and your husband is all, "Are you insane?!?" Because now all the dads are staring at you. But it was your only clean T-shirt! You know what, though? It's not the worst thing in the world if the dads stare at you. Let them wonder.

7. If you get the cherry/blow Beyonce tee, is your husband going to want the other one with the surfer? Take a look. #Dealbreaker.

beyonce emoji tshirt

What do you think of Beyonce's new T-shirts? Would you wear either of them?

 

Images via Beyonce/Instagram & Beyonce Official

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