Have you seen this photo of Kate Upton from Harper's Bazaar? She looks phenomenal, as usual, and the accompanying article features workout tips from her trainer so you can find out how to -- DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN! What happened to Kate Upton's armpit?!? Do you see that? Over on the left side ... look closely at the photo below. She's missing half her armpit. Where did it go? What the hell! Why did we never notice this about her before, and what could have possibly caused this tragic malformation? We can only guess.
1. It's Kate's way of avoiding underarm sweat. She just up and had it surgically removed. Perspiration problem solved! Is this a new cosmetic trend I should investigate?
2. It's a tree-colored tattoo. Maybe she got a back/shoulder tattoo that accidentally extends into her underarm. And it just happens to be the same color as the palm trees behind her.
3. A palm tree ate her armpit. This is highly unlikely. But I thought I'd write it down anyway because I like how those words look together.
4. Kate did too many of these awesome bat-wing-banishing arm exercises. But check out those deltoids! Worth it.
5. Shark bite.
6. It's a nicotine patch. Who knew Kate even smoked? I'm shocked and dismayed to learn this, but pleased that she's trying to kick the habit, but perplexed as to why she'd put the patch there.
7. She was born that way. After years of hiding her armpit in shame, Kate is finally ready to reveal her ONE figure flaw: She was born with only half an underarm on one side. I feel less envious of her now!
8. It's a Photoshop fail. Shout thousands of boring, literal-minded, un-fun people with no imagination whatsoever. Okay, FINE. You're probably right. But this is the least interesting explanation. Personally I'm going with explanation 3.
Why do you think Harper's Bazaar never picked up on that missing armpit?
Image via Harper's Bazaar/Instagram