Hey lady, how's your butt? Got yourself a bit of derriere acne, do we? And bikini season is just around the corner, too. Well today is your lucky day, for I am here to tell you about the one thing that will save your summer: Butt facials.
Why are you not more excited? I'll repeat myself. BUTT. FACIALS. It's the beauty treatment we all need to get behind. Get it? Behi-- okay, I'll stop. My point is, butt facials have become a thing. Full-grown women with college degrees and brains in their heads are paying good cash money to have a stranger steam and peel their fannies. It's called the "Shiny Hiney." For real -- try saying it out loud over the phone and you'll understand the desperate lengths some of us will go through to achieve beach-side perfection.
Your morbid curiosity leads you to say ORLLY? Tell me more! Please allow let me tell you what this entails.
The Shiny Hiney is offered at a salon in Brooklyn, New York for $65. Your 30-minute session entails MarcoExfoliation (similar to microdermabrasion) with steam and extractions, and includes your upper back thighs. "Hey, skin is skin," esthetician and salon owner Molly told Brokelyn. "I got no judgment. Acne can flare up anywhere." What? Acne? What's that? I wouldn't know. Heh.
Actually, now I kind of do want a Shiny Hiney.
But I'm still leery of exposing my butt to a stranger for 30 minutes. So even though I, too, live in Brooklyn and could actually get this service, here's what I'm thinking I'll do instead: Start dry-brushing my ass every day, maybe do a gentle, at-home peel once a month, and moisturize well. Or maybe I'll follow this fanny-polishing regimen from XO Jane. Yes, I Googled "DIY butt facial." Why do you ask?
Anyway, at first I thought this whole butt facial thing was ridiculous. Like it's not enough that we achieve a perfectly toned ass -- now it has to be polished all smooth and flaw-free, too? But the DIY versions are pretty simple, and you get a smoother backside as a result. And who wouldn't want that, no matter what shape it's in? It's just a little extra self care.
Would you ever try a butt facial, at a salon or at home?
Image via BlueWaikiki/Flickr