Do you have saggy boobs? Thinking about getting a boob job but worried that the surgery is too invasive for the sort of subtle result you want? Well have I got a deal for you! At this point you should be imagining me dressed as a 1930s-era professional huckster. There yet? Good. I hope you've fully visualized a jaunty moustache.
The newest way to stack your rack is a surgical procedure called the internal bra. It's exactly what it sounds like. Two silicone cups are placed on your under-boob region by a plastic surgeon. They are kept in place by silk straps attached to your ribs by means of screws. So, you know, your average torture-yourself-for-beauty procedure, no big deal. Move along, nothing to see here, folks. I kid. IT'S A VERY BIG DEAL.
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The whole point of this surgery is to spare you the super-invasive nature of a traditional breast implant. It's supposed to be the low-key way to get a little lift without feeling pressured to go big while they're in there. But let's be honest, this is a procedure that costs MORE money and might be LESS effective than your average boob job.
Think about it -- sure, you're in and out of surgery in an hour, but what do you come away with? Screws in your rib-cage, and no work done on your skin, which, presumably, sags along with the rest of your actual breast tissue. That sounds like it could be exceptionally gnarly.
I'm all for this procedure being pedaled around as one of the many options available to women looking to bolster their chests. But I think it's false advertising to present what is still an invasive surgical procedure as being "the end of breast implants." In my opinion, if you're having a fake bra attached to your insides? That's as breast implant-like as it gets.
Would you ever try an internal bra?
Image via © Roy Morsch/Corbis