Could someone please help me? I've gone temporarily blind from seeing something I didn't want to see this morning. Something my brain is desperately trying to forget. What was it again? Oh no, I remember now: Oh God -- it's the sight of Cher wearing glitter heart pasties. I would tear out my eyeballs now, but it's clearly too late. The damage is done.
Cher wore bright red, sequined, heart-shaped pasties in a performance for her "Dressed to Kill" tour. DRESSED TO KILL INDEED. This was just one of many eye-stabbing costumes the 67-year-old matron of glam wears in her show, including something that looks like her "Turn Back Time" strappy bondage bodice. Do you dare feast your eyes on Cher with glitter heart boobs? Do you?!?
I knew you couldn't resist. Hey, actually I have to give the woman some respect. She must have some sort of bionic confidence to pull off one half-naked costume after another at her age. She's almost 70! And even though we're maybe seeing more of her than we want to, she's in pretty damn great shape for any age.
Not to mention how impressive it is that she's pulling off this stage performance. Cher has incredible stamina and energy, and I admire that. I want to be that strong and energetic when I'm 67. It's inspiring, in a way.
And how about this? There are throngs of people who actually DO want to see Cher in glitter heart pasties: Gay men. I couldn't begin to understand what that's all about, but good for Cher and her fans. Something is working there, even if I don't get it.
Do you think Cher's heart pasties are giving Madonna ideas?