If I were a superhero, I'd be static girl. No one would want me on their superhero-avenging-type league, and at parties I'd stand alone and cry. In the best case scenario, I'd manage to mildly irritate a super-villain before they killed me for shocking them. Nobody likes static.
There's more of it in the winter months, and while it's easy enough to combat when your hair is the sticky-uppy culprit, getting your clothes static-free is a whole other deal. The easy fix is obviously spritzing yourself with water. But, given the recent outbreak of POLAR BEAR MURDERING WEATHER, tossing water upon your person might not be so appealing.
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Fear not gentle clothes-wearer -- we've got the cure for what ails you. Toss out that gimmicky can of static-cling spray and enjoy wearing not-wet clothes in comfort all winter long (I mean, unless you pee your pants or something). Here are some most-excellent tips to banishing static from your clothes and your life.
1.) MOISTURIZE YOUR NAKED BODY
If your skin is dry or cracked, it is going to be a big ol' source of friction, which can cause static build-up. Moisturize and beat the shocking demons.
2.) EMBRACE IT
Superhero may be out -- but fire-starter isn't! Go to the dark side, Luke.
3.) SAY 'YES' TO WIRE HANGERS
Joan Crawford had it wrong. YES more wire hangers! Running a wire hanger over your ensemble before leaving the house will discharge some of the electricity! True story!
4.) CHANGE YOUR SHOES
Still got static? Your shoes may be to blame. Try changing out your footwear, hopefully for something with a rubber sole. That should keep you static-free.
5.) LIVE UNDERWATER
Aquaman's got 99 problems but static ain't one.
6.) KEEP YOUR WINDOW CRACKED, SUCKA
If you can bear it, and it's not so frigid it seems nuts -- opening up the window to keep a little humidity in the joint might be just the ticket.
It's alllllll about the friction. It might be tempting to go without shaving when it's cold and your legs aren't out for all and sundry to ogle, but leg-hair is not your friend when it comes to static. BE GONE, FECKLESS FOLLICLES.
8.) USE ALL OF THE FEBREEZE
Our good humidity hopping back into the mix! Using a fabric spray like Febreeze not only keeps your digs smelling choice, but the moist conditions will help keep your clothes from sticking.
How do you do battle with static?
Image via Peladon/Flickr