Of all the 1980s style trends making a comeback -- high-waisted jeans, torn jeans, metal T-shirts, bangs -- there's totally one we could do without. Scrunchies! 'Memba them? All you have to do is think back to that Sex and the City episode when Carrie screeches, "A scrunchie?!!!" at her writer boyfriend, who wrote a scrunchy on top of the head of a supposedly sophisticated New Yorker. Yeah, that's pretty much how I feel about them.
I can't even remember wearing a scrunchie all during the '80s -- that's how bad they are. Sure, Selena Gomez wore one. But she did it ironically. Didn't she?
Something about the scrunchie in 2013 looks better than it did in 1988 though. Maybe it's that everyone's hair is better now. A scrunchie is bad enough without the poodle perm underneath.
Anyway, scrunchies have gone highbrow. Missoni actually has a $95 scrunchie. Marc Jacobs and Louis Vuitton have them. I'll take the CVS version, please.
The key seems to be to wear all of the hair up piled high on the head and then wrapping the dreaded fabric elastic around the base of the hair -- rather than having only some of the hair bundled into the scrunchie. Like this:
Though, of course, if you lived through the '80s, you will never forget the "red scrunchie of power," from Heathers. The fact that scrunchies are back is clearly a sign of the apocalypse. Just ask Winona. Her expression says it all.