bleachBy and large, I love science. It's pretty baller. The God particle, anyone? Yeah, science knows what's up. But sometimes, I wish science would think before it spoke. Take for example a recent discovery that an EXTREMELY diluted bleach solution can reverse the effects of aging and sun damage on human skin. This is essentially not that revolutionary of a find, since doctors have previously treated severe eczema with a similar solution in the past. Still, in theory -- anything that might stop aging in its tracks? That's pretty cool.

The problem is that in practice, it leads to a bunch of banana-heads spraying Clorox on their faces and then being rushed to the hospital for the potentially lethal combination of vanity and stupidity. You'd think logic would indicate that this is a terrible idea, but you'd be wrong. I can be that harsh because I've done the odd idiotic thing when it comes to DIY beauty.

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Make a blackhead removal strip out of duct tape? SURE. WHY NOT? Buy the wrong waxing kit and rip off most of my front-bottom skin? BEEN THERE, DONE THAT. That said, even I'd draw the line at pouring bleach on my own face to banish crows' feet.

It's easy to laugh, but people do dangerous stuff in the name of beauty all the time. I'm more than willing to take some risks for glamour (should anyone offer me free face-shaving, I would take it -- Marilyn Monroe did it, you guys!), but I'm vain enough to know that anything I'm not sure I can handle myself, I'm better off leaving to the professionals. Sure, if something scares you a little, it's probably worth doing, but if it involves chemicals or knives, reconsider.

You'd think this goes without saying, but it doesn't. If it did, we wouldn't have folks dying from botched at-home butt injections. I know pain is beauty, but I thought that applied to stuff like the odd Botox party with your fellow Housewives. I didn't think it applied to the searing agony and regret that comes with chemically burning your own face off.

What's the biggest DIY beauty disaster you've experienced?


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