Gwyneth Paltrow has great legs. And nobody knows this more than Gwyneth. She spends a lot of time with trainer Tracy Anderson getting those gams in fighting shape, so there's no way she is going to do something unthinkable, like, I dunno, PUT ON PANTS. Gwyneth just made an appearance on Good Morning America, where she wore not one, but two leg-baring outfits. Excuse me for sounding grumpy when I say, with all due respect to the Oscar-winning actress, lifestyle guru, and cookbook author, that I'm so damn sick of looking at Gwynnie's legs.
Gwyneth has been promoting her new book, It's All Good, and when she shows up at a book signing ... there's her legs. She's also the face of Boss Nuit perfume and often appears at their events ... with her damn legs hanging out.
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This week, she wore two leg-flashing outfits to her TV appearance, including this illusion dress, which gives the illusion that Gwyneth isn't showing off her legs. Haha. Of course it doesn't.
Yeah, I know it wasn't that long ago that I was waxing rhapsodic about Gwyneth's pins in her white short shorts. But every relationship grows a little strained when you spend too much time together, and I have spent way too much time with Gwyneth's legs. Haven't we all?! There's flaunting it and then there's taunting it, Gwyneth. And you, girl, have moved into taunting territory!
It might sound like I'm obsessed with Gwyneth's legs but that's only because they're in my face 24/7. They're in all of our faces. Remember that time she oiled up her legs and went on Conan O'Brien? This is obviously a Machiavellian attempt by Gwyneth's legs to stealthily gain power to the point where they have taken over the world. And I'm not going to sit idly by and let it happen. Wake up, people!! Gwyneth's legs are dangerous infiltrators come to wreak havoc on our way of life!
Please, Gwyneth, please. Just give me a moment's rest from your toned thighs and curvaceous calves. Let me close my eyes tonight and not see your oily lower limbs dancing behind my lids.
I need to go rest now.
Are you tired of Gwyneth's legs?
Image via SplashNews
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