Confessions of a Curvy Mom: Swimsuits Were Invented By the Devil

Rant 12

bathing suitBetween the months of October and March, the word "swimsuit" is typically banned from my vocabulary. Why stress myself out about that annoying clothing item when there's no chance I'll have to slip into one anytime soon?

Well, that all changed the moment we decided to take my son to Disney World for spring break. The hotel we are staying at has an amazing pool that my little one -- who has been cooped up all winter long -- can't wait to dip into. Ugh. Now I have to scramble to find a new suit and there is nothing I hate more than bathing suit shopping with my post-baby bod. Finding the "right" one (meaning one I don't have to wear a t-shirt over) is harder than winning the lottery.

To be honest, shopping for swimsuits was a misery long before the kid came along. It's just so uncomfortable. Standing in that dressing room, checking out the flimsy thing from the backside, and refusing to come out. If I won't even show the salesgirl who will at least lie to me about how great I look, how am I going to parade around some beach in it?

You see, I have never been the type to flaunt my assets in a teeny, weenie bikini. It's just not my style. But I can't seem to find one that is cute AND covers the areas I want covered. I honestly don't mind a two-piece. But I need a brand that allows you to mix and match the top and bottom sizes. Thankfully, I came across Malia Mills, a line that lets you do just that. So if you happen to be a large up top and a small on the bottom, this could be the answer.

However, for this trip, I would prefer fuller coverage. I am going to be romping around the pool with a 4-year-old, after all. But I want a swimsuit that pulls double duty -- covers and also makes me look leaner. I know. Sounds like a fairytale worthy of Walt Disney, right? I thought so too at first. Then I came across the Spanx line of swimwear. Apparently, it's not just good for those tummy-sucking body shapers. When the Whittle Waistline Draped One-Piece arrived, I swear I could hear angels singing. It's cute and totally functional (aka, it doesn't ride up or slip off). So, while I still think swimsuits in general are the devil's way of torturing us, this cute suit has me more optimistic about my options going forward.

How do you feel about bathing suit shopping? What brands work for you?


Image via verypurpleperson/Flickr



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Blues... Blueshark77

I feel your pain! I'm also two different sizes on top and bottom. It's hard for me to find something that's not too skimpy or too matronly or ridiculously expensive. I usually give up and get a boring black one piece. 

Bfeed... BfeedingBabies

You poor love, I hate trying to find something that will stay on with my toddler crawling all over me, let alone look flattering!

I found my best option was a rash vest (that's what we call them in Australia - I'm not sure itf it's different over there? It's basically something that keeps the sun off) paired with some little board shorts.

It's perfect - minimal sunscreen, no accidental wardrobe malfunctions and I feel like the floppy skin is covered up!!  AND they're naturally always going to be from two different brands so you can get the right size for both curves!!

Amanda Thomas

Are you kidding me?! 230 dollars for a tanktini top?  You have got to be out of your everloving mind.

Flori... Floridamom96

Lands End! Best bathing suits for real women.

Coles... Coles_mom

Unfortunately I have massive butt and thighs and nothing, even the greatest swimsuit would help. I haven't worn a bathing suit in probably seven or so years. I probably won't wear one ever again,

nonmember avatar Marci

I love londo mondo, but I'm not sure if they sell outside of Chicago. Being a size 8/10 with an F cup makes it difficult to find adequate swimwear.

the4m... the4mutts

I dont wear brands. I just figure out what color I want first, then go find a store that has it in my size. I prefer mix & match as well, but I also have a tankini that I love.

Im not only curvy, but chunky too. I guess I just dont understand the whole "bathing suit drama" that most people have.

I bought my first suit in like 8 years just last year, but thats only because I hadnt needed one before that. So it was dramaticaly exciting for me, but only since it was the first time I had owned a suit as an adult.

Angie... AngieHayes

Roxy has some great swim suits, but size up, they run small.

curly... curlygirl31

I really want to get a monokini with the side cut outs they are so cute and dont show too much.

Anna Potts

i dont think curvy means what you think it means ladies...

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