Stop Making Men's Underwear Look Like Something My Toddler Would Wear!

Rant 16

superman underwearI have a 4-year-old son and he loves superhero underwear. He has Batman and Spider-Man and Green Lantern. He has Legos and Transformers and Star Wars, too. The variety and fun of his underwear made him excited to potty train and helped him to learn to dress himself and get excited about picking out his underwear in the morning. Good times for my preschooler!

But yeah. Once he is past 10, I kind of expect him to wear normal boy underwear. Gray, white, black. These are all acceptable colors.

Unfortunately, it seems someone didn't get the memo. My husband and I were shopping in a store the other day when he made the appalling discovery that all of the underwear ... looked like toddler underwear!

There was Spider-Man! Angry Birds! Star Wars! Rubber ducks wearing neckties!

"It's kind of sad that there is no difference between the men's department and the kids' department," my husband said, cringing. Indeed, it is.

Look, I get that women's underwear sometimes runs cutesy, too. I have seen Mickey Mouse and Tweety Bird in the lingerie department. But it's generally understood that these are ooky, abnormal things. This isn't "sexy." It's also not 95 percent of the department.

My husband actually couldn't FIND a pair of underwear that didn't have some kind of cartoon character on it. Maybe I am being picky, but I am not all that into the idea of my husband coming to bed all ready for sexy time and stripping down to his Batman underoos. There is something kind of sex-killing about that idea.

With all due respect, what MEN like this? Seriously? Do I know them? Do the investment banker dads I see around my town secretly have R2D2 underoos beneath their suits? Is every grown man just a Peter Parker wannabe who can strip off his Brooks Brothers button-down to reveal his spidey suit?

I sure as hell hope not. How can we ever expect men to act like men if we treat them -- and their genital region -- like toddlers? I say we collectively get together and say no more. My man is going to wear gray boxer briefs by the dozen. And because he does, he is going to get A LOT more play-dates with his favorite sexy sidekick.

Are you into boy underwear on men?


Image via Amazon

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Kimbyann Kimbyann

I honestly dont care. My favorite (most comfortable) undies are boyshorts that are all red and have an Elmo face on the side.

Rebec... Rebecca7708

What kind of men like them? Men who have a sense of humor, who aren't boring with a stick up their ass. It's just underwear. You wear it UNDER your clothes. Nobody is gonna see it unless you want them to. Relax.

purpl... purpleflower514

You were looking in the wrong store and that is all there is to it. I buy my husband and son's underwear at Macy's. Great colors (my son doesn'y want to wear undies with pictures anymore) and great brands that use soft fabric. They have briefs, boxer briefs (all my men folk like this style) and boxers.

SIMom... SIMomSays

Really? "Appaling discovery" "cringing"..... It's underware. I don't think it is meant to be taken so seriously. I bought some "underroos" for my husband for Valentines Day last year... as a joke. The Incredible Hulk and Spider Man. He wears them sometimes.... most for fun in jest when its just us... but every once in a while when the laundry gets low he will rock out his Hulk undies to work.... and guess what? No one is the wiser!

tbruc... tbrucemom

There are plenty of regular underwear. Get a grip. No one knows what kind of underwear you're wearing anyway except the person wearing them and their mate.  I wouldn't have a problem with my fiance wearing Batman or any other kind of underwear, unless they had holes in them, that's wear I draw the line!  Throw them away......

Rea Wilcox-Ball

Wow....get a grip! Why is it "okay" for women to wear cute undies with cartoons on them but not men? Double standard much?
I would have no problem if my husband wore Star Wars boxers, or briefs for that matter, because I know and still love what's under the clothes regardless of what he's wearing. And we have a sense of humor. I think we bought it in the kids section, you might want to look for it next time you are shopping.  

curly... curlygirl31

Most department stores carry underwear in packs that are plain colors its not hard to find

Simon... SimonzKedge

Wow. Now there are underwear police? Take a chill pill. I honestly don't care what kind of underwear my guy it's wearing as long as they're clean. Heck they could be pink and frilly for all I care, they're his clothes, not mine.

jalaz77 jalaz77

No but there is no way he had trouble shopping for underwear. When I see those underwear they are grouped together away from the regular isle of undies, boxers, socks and bags of crew or V neck t's.

nonmember avatar emmie

My sons think its hilarious when they wear matching underwear as their dad. So as long as all three are happy then I'm happy and will continue to buy them. If you have such a problem with it then I suggest you get the stick out of your ass and shop somewhere else.

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