Michelle Obama has a big butt. That’s not a statement for shock value—it’s apparently a confirmed fact.
It’s surely made enough headlines of its own since it’s been in the White House, which has elevated it to the upper echelons of celebrity backsides along with the ones carted around by Beyonce, J. Lo, and Kim Kardashian. She’s not a superhuman Superbowl super-performer or a pop music singin’ American Idol defector, or even a reality show starlet slash famous rapper baby mama. But she’s got a rump that gets people talkin’.
The latest to stumble into Mo (and Mo’) Public Booty Hate is Bob Grisham, head football coach and psychology teacher at Lauderdale County High School in Rogersville, Ala. He launched into a mini-rant about his displeasure over the First Lady’s physique, calling her “fat butt Michelle Obama.” Then he added that he hates queers and doesn’t like to be around them.
Homeboy was on a roll. Somebody probably should’ve handed him a seat.
The debacle unfolded as part of Grisham’s commentary about the federal government’s involvement in local issues, particularly Mrs. Obama’s mission to promote low-calorie lunches for students. (The audacity of that heffa!) Somehow that conversation deteriorated into a very un-PC rant, caught on audio by a student who naturally had a cell phone recorder handy and recognized the magnitude of the coach’s comments. When will people learn?
Grisham: Like those lunches. You get 600-calorie lunches—you know who's behind that?
Different voice: Michelle Obama
Grisham: Fat butt Michelle Obama
[Giggling in background]
Grisham: Look at her. She looks like she weighs 185 or 190. She's overweight.
Different voice: Big fat gorilla
Grisham: I'm serious. Y'all, our country is, is, is going in the wrong direction.
Different voice: It's going straight to hell.
Grisham: Things won't get better until there's a change in some areas and stuff. And you know what his platform was? Change… Y'all can get pissed off at me or not. You can go tell the principal, you can call the superintendent and tell her. I don't believe in queers, I don't like queers. I don't … I don't hate them as a person but what they do is wrong, it's an abomination against God. I don't like being around queers.
Following this eloquence, you know the drill: he’s since “regretted” his comments, apologizes for them, blah blah blah, at least about the First Lady (not so sure about the LGBT community).
If you remember, Wisconsin Republican Rep. F. James Sensenbrenner also swallowed his foot after he cracked some dry jokes about Mrs. Obama’s “large posterior” (ignoring, of course, the one that sits on his own backside). Heartthrob Rush Limbaugh has called her Michelle “My Butt” Obama on more than one occasion, too. Crass as they are, they represent the longstanding love/hate relationship with black women's beauty and the impossible physical standards imposed on all women, even by men who look like they haven’t done a crunch since the Carter administration.
The school board has suspended Grisham for 10 days and more disciplinary action may be waiting in the wings for the outed gay-bashing, Michelle Obama booty critic. He’s a juicy morsel of jerkiness indeed, but since he’s not the first to express these kinds of comments, he most definitely won’t be the last. Funny because Michelle could actually buy and sell his ass if she wanted to.
What’s your best ever comeback for a disparaging comment about your body?
Image via Official U.S. Navy Imagery/Flickr
I create a special savings account
I put a little away at a time
I cut corners until I can afford it
Save? Who has money to save?
I plan to put it on my credit card and love the benefits of the reward program