Scott Disick makes me laugh. In sort of an uneasy Is this guy for real? way. And I can't decide whether to like him or not. On the one hand, he's incredibly vain, shallow, lazy, selfish, sneaky, and a borderline alcoholic. On the other, he's willing to admit his faults, he works hard to change, he usually lets Kourtney get her way, and he's got a good sense of humor.

But when I read about his daily routine, I was mortified for him. Is this really what Scott Disick does every day? I mean, I knew he probably wasn't taking time between partying and thinking up ways to drive Kourtney nuts to split the atom, research cancer cures, or even serve meals to the homeless. But I thought MAYBE he was a little less shallow than he appeared. Well, I guess I'm wrong. Here is Scott Disick's average day. Warning: Don't drink anything near your computer as you read this because you will surely do a spittake at some point.

Scott starts his day by waking up at 10 a.m. Which must be wonderful, considering he has two young children. This must mean Kourtney gets the full load of childcare for at least four hours before Scott is even coming out of dreamy time.

He then takes a shower. Not just any shower, but a 30-minute shower! Most parents can barely manage a two-minute shower, but Scott somehow manages to run enough water to slake the thirsts of an entire African village for a year.

He then moisturizes with a $275 cream. Even on days he's not posing for Vogue. Which, by the way, he doesn't do.

He then spends an hour preparing his outfit. Not dressing. But preparing. It takes him this long to pick out one of his fine tailored suits and his "perfect" shoes. I don't even want to know how long it takes him to actually put everything on.

Then comes "the most important decision" of Scott's day. Is it what game he will play with the kids? Is it how he can contribute to the Kardashian coffers? Is it putting some thought into man's inhumanity to man? Nope. It's picking out his watch. Let's see ... shall it be the Patek Philippe, the Rolex, or the Jacob & Co.? Hmmm. I can see why this is so important.

But now poor Scott has another monumental decision to make. Which car to drive??!! Shall it be the Rolls, the Ferrari, the Mustang? I'm surprised his well-oiled head doesn't asplode.

Now Scott finally gets down to work. IN HIS HOME OFFICE. Yup, all of that ... but he doesn't even leave the house. Has the man never heard of yoga pants? And apparently his "job" involves giving money to his friends to invest in nightclubs. Good luck seeing that again, Scott.

After that difficult day, he then spends two hours "relaxing" in front of his computer and the television.

Sooo ... when does he change diapers? When does he spend three hours trying to make his toddler not throw his food? Oh right. He doesn't do any of that. Silly me. Well, to each his own, I guess. His day makes Kim Kardashian sound positively deep.

What do you think of Scott's day?

 

Image via SplashNews