There are few things in the world I feel as strongly about as guyliner. You could ask me where I come down on the epic Yankees versus Red Sox debate, and I would shrug casually and blabber something about the Nats. But ask me how I feel about a man wearing makeup and a fire is ignited in me that's fueled by steadfast opinions on the most meaningless topic, dudes in eyeliner.
Here's my take. Men. should. never. ever. I'm serious. ever. wear. eyeliner. I don't care if you're Rachel Zoe's husband (I'm looking at you, Rodger Burman) and she's dragged you to a MAC event, you do not stare at yourself delicately in a mirror and line your fluttering eyes with black pencil.
No no no no no no NO.
Everyone knows that in the history of the world, there has only been one man who can pull off the guyliner, and if you think I'm going to say Pete Wentz or one of those early 2000s rocker twins that Nicole Richie married, then kindly leave. That is so not even close to the right answer that we're just going to have to agree to disagree and you might as well move on.
The correct answer, the only correct answer, is Johnny Depp. If you are not Johnny Depp, then you cannot wear guyliner. Doesn't matter how many times your video was played on TRL or how many tattoos or tight wool beanies you own -- if you're a man and your name doesn't rhyme with Shawny Krepp, then stay out of your lady's makeup case.
And Rodge, you know I love you, man, but don't do everything Rachel tells you to do. And if this guyliner and long hair were your idea, then buddy, pal, nah uh. Not your best look.
How do you feel about guyliner? Love it or leave it?
Photo via Pascal Le Segretain/Getty