What's So Great About Kate Middleton's Breasts, Anyway?

Rant 10

kate and williamEnough with this Kate Middleton topless pics scandal. It's not like she has state secrets tattooed under those suckers, so everyone  please just calm down. I knew the whole scandal had gotten way out of hand when my husband -- who could care less about pop culture -- had an interest in the whole mess. He was late to the media frenzy, of course, but when he got wind that someone was actually going to print pics of the Duchess' bare breasts, he was like, 'Wow. Really. I gotta see that. What magazine are they in again?' Now, that's a reaction I expect from nude news about Zoe Saldana or Scarlett Johannson. But Kate?!?! Seriously, what do people think she's hiding under those designer frocks anyway?

What is the big deal about Kate's boobs? Now just to be clear, I think this French magazine publisher is pretty despicable. The photos were taken from far away while the couple were sunbathing at a private chateau in France. They had no idea someone was watching. No public figure deserves that kind of invasion of privacy. This goes way beyond snapping a pic while she picks up a frozen dinner at the market or emerges from house without makeup. 

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I am just so sick of hearing about that royal rack. No doubt Kate would agree. I'm sure she is a combo of angry and mortified. People are literally reacting like they are going to see an image of Baby Jesus in her nipple of something. It’s just ridiculous. News flash everyone – there is nothing special about her ta-tas other than the fact that the future king of England will suckle from them. Wait -- I guess that is kinda impressive. But that's neither her nor there. A peek at those suckers doesn't deserve this kind of frenzy. She’s not hiding any great mystery under those garments. Same as everyone else’s  – two eggs, sunnyside up. Get over it.

Are you tired of hearing about the Kate Middletom topless photo scandal?

 

Image via Splash

beauty, body, kate middleton