Put down the Shake Weight -- there's a new arm toner in town. A new machine will supposedly trim and tone your bat wings without diet, exercise, or surgery. All you have to do is sit there while a technician waves a magic wand, a.k.a. the world's most advanced radiofrequency technology thingamajig on your underarm fattiness, and poof, all that stuff that's been flapping around there for years is gone.
I have no idea if this actually works, but wow do I find this promising. Ever since we landed on Mars, getting rid of bat wings was like the last thing science had to conquer. And now, check!
Let's be real, underarm fat is really hard to get rid of. It's very difficult to target and it just seems like once it arrives, it's there to stay. If this treatment really works, I'm sure there will be a lot of happy women out there who can fly to their medi-spa on their wings, then walk home with pride.
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They say the process is pain-free and takes very little downtime -- women are even going in on their lunch breaks to get their flabby bicep extensions trimmed down. It's unclear whether you're allowed to take home your newly removed wings in a jar and keep them on your nightstand or something, but I hope there's some sort of tangible takeaway. At least a lollipop or something.
Now that it sounds like we got the bat wings problem solved, and that the Mars Rover was a success, I guess the very, very last thing science has left to solve is the mystery of Kim Kardashian's buttocks. Is it real? Is it fake? Is it made of cheese? If you squeeze it, does it giggle? Get on that, researchers. Inquiring minds wanna know.
Do you have a problem with bat wings, and would you use this new treatment?
Photo via oskay/Flickr
I create a special savings account
I put a little away at a time
I cut corners until I can afford it
Save? Who has money to save?
I plan to put it on my credit card and love the benefits of the reward program