When it comes to our beauty routine, we ladies pay loads of attention to the obvious areas: Our faces, our hair, our nails. But there's an important area of our body that we routinely neglect to beautify. And that is our knees. Ladies, when you're out on the town in a mini, your gams are smooth, buff, and tan, and your high heels are on -- what good does all this do you if you have knobby, saggy, wrinkly "kninkles," eh? You are ruining your entire look!
Of course, I'm joking, y'all. And you were SO getting ready to tell me off. Who can control what their knees look like? And who cares what they look like? But wrinkly knees -- "kninkles" as they are ingeniously called -- are getting more attention. Yes, first we had "kankles" -- fat ankles -- and now we have "kninkles." Aren't you overjoyed?
The Daily Mail has run an entire article picking apart the knees of various celebrities. Some of them are cursed with knobby knees (Kate Moss). Some have shameful "kninkles" (Catherine Zeta-Jones). Even Angelina Jolie's famous gam comes in for a drubbing, her knees labeled "knobbled." I don't even know what that means.
Most of the article is filled with venomous ageism -- lots of pointing out that women go "weak in the knees" after 40. Elle MacPherson's knees are called "crinkly 48-year-old knees." And yet I highly doubt that most 20-year-olds have beautiful knees. Because, you know, they're KNEES.
Anyway, the commenters on the site seemed none too pleased with this knee-jerk piece, leaving over 200 comments, the vast majority negative. Summed up Kate Baker from Key West, Florida:
Dear DM, your severe obsession over celebrities and their perceived flaws has now reached pathological proportions ... Enough already. Is it any wonder little girls as young as 12 are asking for Botox and boob jobs when they are constantly bombarded by this nonsense?
True, but I wouldn't expect it to stop anytime soon. Angry readers are still readers. Hopefully, this kind of thing is so absurd that no woman anywhere, no matter what her knees look like, will pay any attention to this screechy absurdist beauty ideal. I myself have no idea if my knees are attractive -- I'd never even thought to look at them before. And I plan to keep it that way.
Next, we'll have to worry about saggy earlobes and wrinkly knuckles. Let's stop the madness.
What do you think of "kninkles"?
Image via Diovolenti/Flickr