Rant
Did Maria Menounos' Beauty Cast Doubt on Her Story of Abuse?
We were all a bit shocked yesterday when Extra host Maria Menounos said she'd been sexually abused by at least one doctor and inappropriately touched by a second. Menounos dropped this bomb on Howard Stern’s Sirius show. But she (and her blabby long-term boyfriend) dropped a few bombs that day, as is requisite around Howard Stern. No doubt the raucous, jokey, sex-talk-filled atmosphere in which Menounos chose to share her story of abuse helped cast doubt on it. But that isn’t the only reason I believe she got so much negative reaction.
I noticed many of the comments about Maria -- here on the boards as well as elsewhere -- had to do with her looks. The basic gist is, "Oh, she thinks she’s so hot that even doctors are going to hit on her." From what I could tell, most, if not all, of these comments were made by women. We’ve ruthlessly made fun of British writer Samantha Brick for saying that women hate her because of her looks, and here women are doubting a woman's story of abuse because of her looks.
Let’s be real: Even if Maria were obese, with little in the way of teeth, many would still have cast a suspicious eye on her story. We say we do not see sexual abuse as about attractiveness, and yet many would wonder, "Who would molest HER?!" Just like we said of Samantha Brick, "Who would be jealous of HER?!"
No one says of a man who has been punched in face, "Who would punch you? You're too ugly." Or, "I bet you wanted to get punched. Look at how you dress." And yet ...
If you are a woman who is going to share your story of sexual abuse, other women will decree that you should neatly fit into one type of aesthetic: If you are pretty, it should be in a non-threatening, motherly, pearl-wearing, "classy" way -- in fact, you should look just about like Katie Couric. Though even with Katie, there would be those who would say, "She's over the hill. She's just trying to seem young and attractive again." As if sexual abuse is only for the young and pretty. Elderly women are routinely raped.
Do I think that Maria would have been better off telling a therapist about these incidents and not Howard Stern? Or that she do so in a more "serious" way? Sure. But maybe this was the only way she could bring herself to say it. Maybe the jokey atmosphere took some of the horror out of it.
You will all now say your reactions have nothing to do with the way Maria looks. But I can READ what you are saying. And if she were testifying before a grand jury in a suit and pearls, with her hair in a bun, her face and body more "average," I still think you’d say the same.
Do you think Maria's looks made people suspicious of her story?
Image via Getty
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cmjaz
butterflyfreak
I think women are assholes and so long as we continue to treat each other with contempt, nobody will take us seriously. Men do not judge other men like women judge each other. We judge each other on looks, personality, how we raise our children, etc. It's RIDICULOUS. Really, it's no wonder men see us as a bunch of crazy bitches that can't be taken seriously!
CPN322
I couldn't get through the entire article. Her looks didn't even factor in to me. The fact that she had the courage to talk about this on the Howard Stern show, but not report the doctors and that she continued to go to male doctors and did not request a nurse in the room makes her story unbelieveable to me. I was molested in a K-Mart when I was younger for all of maybe two mintues and that is all it took for me to be weary around older men. It wasn't a doctor that did that to me and still I get so uncomfortable at the gyno that, up until 2 years ago, I'd cry. I would NEVER be in a room with a male doctor without a nurse if I were wearing nothing but a gown. Anyone who has been sexually abused or molested would NEVER put themselves in that situation.
CPN322
Actually, I'd never be in a room with a male OR female doctor without a nurse if all I was wearing was a gown.
Denise Salinas
Stormie Woods
Alycia Eggers
I wasn't surprised that she didn't report or want to deal with the legal battle (ever seen The Hand That Rocks the Cradle?!) but her story just didn't jive as real. She said she started screaming after the first, but really, you started screaming with your boyfriend in the waiting room and the entire staff in the halls and nothing ever came of that? Why would she then go to another male doctor, without a nurse present, after one supposedly touched her genitals? I have worked in healthcare for a long time, and males and females alone in a room is rare these days! The Dr.'s want to cover their butts and make pt.'s feel comfortable. But let's say she visited an old-fashioned practice or the doctor was totally shady so there was no nurse present, why wouldn't she request one? Why would she NOT GO TO A FEMALE in the first place after the first horrific encounter? Since when is touching someone's belly ring sexual abuse and not just plain creepy and inappropriate? And let's say ALL this is true, why then does she contend that after those two incidents she insists her boyfriend be in the room with her instead of not going to male doctors anymore? Her story is just illogical, irrational, and full of way to many holes for me to believe it is anything other than a trumped up attention-seeking ploy
MaiasMommy619
CPN322
Denise Salinas - I completely understand why and that many victims of sexual abuse do not come forward. I do believe 2 of my friends didn't tell anyone but their parents(years later) and I myself didn't do any of the talking to the cop in the store. I just found it very odd that she has the courage to tell the world on the howard stern show but she couldn't tell a cop....and even overlooking that, the point I was really trying to make is that, I guess I should say MOST sexual assault or molestation victims would not continue to put themselves in positions where they were vulnerable like that. Rationally, one would think that if a doctor touched you inappropriately while there was no nurse around, that you wouldn't continue to go see doctors in a room alone.
CPN322
Actually, if its been a long time, I can understand how she would now have the courage to tell people about it. I still don't believe her for all the reasons Alycia Eggers stated.