7 Stages of Swimsuit Selection

1. Shock & Denial. This is not my body. This is NOT my body. These are not my boobs, this is not my ass, these are not my thighs. No, no, no. This is not happening.


2. Pain & Guilt. This sucks. What was I thinking eating whatever I wanted for the last few months? I deserve this ass. I deserve this stomach. I suck.

3. Anger. What are you looking at? You've never seen a woman surrounded by 15 bathing suits and three pints of ice cream? Go to hell. You're the one who caused me to look like this. You and your fucking sperm. Go. Now.

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4. Depression, Reflection, and Loneliness. Why am I sitting here alone? It's because I look like this, isn't it? Nobody wants me.

5. The Upward Turn. It's not even July. I don't have to look like this all summer! I can start a diet now. No carbs. No sugar. Gallons of water. Here I go!

6. Reconstruction & Working Though. OK, so maybe not no carbs. Light carbs. A little sugar. Iced tea.

7. Acceptance. I'm never going to rock the swimsuit again. Pass the Ben and Jerry's. And the cover-up.

Image via uw_digital_images/Flickr

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