I've thought for a while now that there's been a decided lack of phallus on my pants. I didn't say in my pants, thankyouverymuch, I said on my pants. There just aren't a lot of fabrics out there that have penises on them, I guess, because my search for a Trouser Snake tank top, a Shlong Skirt, or, of course, a Dicky dickey has been fruitless for years. But my wait, and yours, is over. Finally there's now a pair of leggings with different colored penises all over them. Big ones, small ones, black ones, white ones, curved ones, straight ones ... they're everything you hoped for, and then some.
And at $152, they're worth every penis. Every penny! I meant to say they're worth every penny.
If you're not quite sure where you'd where these leggings covered in love muscles, you gotta open your mind a bit. These X-rated bottoms are perfect for Bachelorette parties, Halloween, and baby showers. I mean, what better way to honor that fetus growing in your friend's belly than wearing leggings covered in the flesh flute that put it there? It's the ultimate, and most literal way to say congratulations, you're pregnant!
I might not wear these private part pants to a family Christmas, or to the kids' soccer games, but you know, you gotta feel out the sitch before you decide to roll up in clothing covered in cocks. A little bit of common sense goes a long way in your decision whether or not to don the dong dungarees.
Get your pair of penis pants now; who knows how long they'll last.
Photos via baskosters.com