Happy 'Ryan Gosling Wears a Helmet & Is Still the Hottest Guy Ever' Day!

ryan goslingHow do you know that you're one of the hottest guys in the whole wide world? You wear a helmet that covers your entire head/neck area, a long sleeve shirt, gloves, jeans, and boots and you STILL get written up for being one sexy beast. Ryan Gosling isn't showing one inch of skin, not a goddamn inch, and here I find myself (and admit it, you are too) drooling over his royal manliness. I'm so twitterpated, in fact, that I don't even care that I just wrote the words "his royal manliness." I'm in love, I'm in love, and I don't care who knows it!

I hereby declare today Ryan Gosling Wears a Helmet & Is Still the Hottest Guy Ever Day. Care to join me in celebrating?

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We'll start by asking every man in our lives to wear a matte black helmet with a mirrored face guard. A few cocktails and a few "hey girls" later and we'll think our be-masked lovers are all Ryan Gosling. It's great because when we make them do that Dirty Dancing scene from Crazy Stupid Love, the helmet will protect them when we come barrelling down on them at full speed.

We'll continue by enforcing a strict black-and-red-flannel-only policy and polish off the day by buying every rucksack we can get our hands on. Ryan's style is the stuff thrift store racks, and dreams, are made of. Effortlessly masculine and calmly smooth, I'm sure he smells like a combination of motor oil, traffic, B.O., perfection, and rainbows. Snifffff. Ahhhh.

Be sure to wish everyone a happy Ryan Gosling Wears a Helmet & Is Still the Hottest Guy Ever Day and mark your calendars for next year -- the one-year anniversary party of this look is going to be off the dirt bike chain.

So -- any thoughts on his hotness?

 

Photo via Pacific Coast News

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