Snooki Predictably Goes Bikini Bare on ‘Gorilla Beach’ Cover

gorilla beachHey Guidettes, don't you think Snooki looks smushable on the cover of her new book, Gorilla Beach? She's riding a surfboard (carried by gorillas, duh) in a bikini. Obviously some liberties were taken -- I mean, it's either a very flattering illustration or a work of Photoshop genius.

Don't get me wrong. The real Snooki was smokin' in a bikini just before she got knocked up. And I believe we've seen her hair piled up that high IRL, too. But notice anything else? What makes this Snooki a teensy weensy bit different from the real girl?

Advertisement

She's paler! The (ahem) literary version of Snooki is practically a ghost compared with the real Snooki. Why, she'd practically look like a pale, sicky, consumptive heroine from a Victorian novel were it not for the bikini and the beach. Whose idea was it to tone down Snooki's tan?

More from The Stir: JWoww's Ridiculous Bikini Line Stays Put With Glue Instead of Straps

There's hardly any orange anywhere. Just a smidge of peachy glow around her cheeks. It's like she came from some strange, faraway land without tanning beds (Bali?). She looks like maybe she applies a healthy amount of sunscreen before she heads out on the beach.

And have you seen the back -- like, literally, the back of the book and her featured backside? (So cute, just like the vintage Coppertone ad.) Those pale limbs are practically blinding me. Quick, someone get this girl out of the shade!

Oh I'm kidding -- I actually like the illustrated version of Snooki better. Think she took a look at these pictures and contemplated the idea of spending a little less time bronzing? Nahhh, probably not.

What do you think of the cover for Gorilla Beach?

 

Image via @Snooki/Twitter

Read More >