Britney Spears’ $20,000 Bra Better Do More Than Just Sparkle

Eye Roll 4

britney spearsToo hawttt! Britney Spears pranced with a toned tummy and a $20,000 bra for a Twister Dance game commercial this weekend. The pop veteran was looking svelte in the photos she tweeted from the commercial shoot and ...

Wait a minute. Did you say $20,000 bra? THAT dingy gray thing? It's a sports bra. And it's kind of torn, in case no one's noticed.

You can barely even see the wee gold skulls with diamond eyeballs, the dangling Swarovski crystal hearts, and the silver threaded fabric (woven by French fairies, natch). Whatever! For $20,000 a bra should be a whole lot shinier than this. For that matter, a $20,000 bra better do more than scream bling.

Here's what I think a $20,000 bra ought to do for me.

  1. Make my boobs look like Jennifer Love Hewitt's.
  2. Provide air conditioning.
  3. Make phone calls.
  4. Raise my metabolism.
  5. Three words: Ryan Gosling geolocation (AKA RGG, FYI).
  6. Sing me to sleep every night.
  7. Alert me every time a funny cat video is uploaded.
  8. Send a tsunami of antioxidants and age-defying vitaminthingies through my system every hour.
  9. Do my taxes.
  10. Reduce my risk for breast cancer. Obviously.
  11. Give me orgasms, but not too often, and only at appropriate moments.
  12. Make dinner.
  13. Speak Esperanto.
  14. Filter toxins.
  15. Remind me of family members' birthdays.
  16. Turn into a cloak of invisibility.
  17. Put the kids to bed.
  18. Love me unconditionally.
  19. Take a sunrise, sprinkle it in dew, cover it in chocolate and a miracle or two.
  20. Provide just the right lift, support, and comfort.

What do you think of Britney's $20,000 sports bra?

 

Image via Path

accessories, celeb style, clothes, lingerie

4 Comments

To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

nonmember avatar James

Duh, Adriana--have you not seen the price of gold and diamonds lately. Would be pretty cool if the bra could do my taxes tho

Todd Vrancic

A bra that expensive should do all of that, scramble eggs on Sunday and whistle "Dixie."

Todd Vrancic

And also generate enough power to get my household completely off the grid.

Kelly Dooley

LOL, this list is hilarious! Wish I could make your dream come true, Adriana!

1-4 of 4 comments
F