Angelina Jolie's Wedding Dress Will Make Up for Her Ugly Engagement Ring

angelina jolie Hollywood may as well just close up shop, because it ain't ever gonna get any better than this: Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are engaged. That's right, after years of struggle, oppression, and tribulation, the underdog couple finally overcame the odds so unfairly pitted against them, and made a promise to themselves, and anyone out there with hope, for a real-life happily ever after. Hallelujah! However, the engagement ring, which we now have an up-close and personal shot of, is heinous.

Alright, alright, "heinous" might be a bit of a strong word here, but I think "old lady-ish" will suffice just fine in its stead. I totally get what Brad Pitt was trying to do here -- something "different," but still ri-goddam-diculously expensive -- but, I don't know, I'm just not into this giant pile o' diamonds. And as someone fairly invested in their relationship, I'm a little disappointed. However, I know one thing won't disappoint: Angelina's wedding dress.


I know, I know, the couple just got engaged -- it's, like, take it easy, Nicole, let them enjoy their betrothal in peace a bit. But I can't help it. This is the closest thing America will ever have to a royal wedding. And that dress is a key ingredient in this epic equation. What ever will it be?

Well, so far, lots of style blogs are speculating that the ridiculously lucky designer will wind up either being Versace or Jenny Packham -- two of Angie's favie-bear designers. I really have no speculation as far as who the designer will be, but I do think I have an inkling as to the type of dress Jolie will opt for. I mean, don't we all?

I think she'll go more conventional than we expect. I'm not talking poofy dress and tiara here, but I don't think she'll walk down the aisle in something black. Maybe the old Angie would have, not new Angie. I think the actress will definitely gravitate toward something form-fitting, probably strapless, and of course, something that has a slit up the side. Can you honestly envision her in anything else? Maybe something with sleeves, but definitely long and tight with a slit. And definitely, positively no veil.

Maybe something in the vein of this? I don't know, I'm just spitballing.

wedding dress

As I said, this is all just speculation. Stay tuned, as I'm sure there will be plenty more where this came from over the next few months. F**k yeah, you guys! Brad and Angelina are getting hitched! It's about time this country did something good.

Are you proud to be an American right now? What do you think Angelina's dress will look like?

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