Real Men Shall Wear Tights and They Shall Call Them ‘Mantyhose’

MantyhoseMost fashion trends are in style for a total of a hot minute. One second, we're all over the the leather harness belt like white on rice, and then the next day it's oddly all about human hair necklaces (GAG). Well watch out my fellow fashionistas, because it looks like Mantyhose are on the rise.

Yup. Pantyhose. For men. In all of their stretchtastic, dark-colored, patterned glory. They're so totally hip and happening across the pond in Europe -- so that means it's a trend coming this way soon, right?

The bigger question: Why WOULDN'T you want your man to wear these elastic banded bro hose?


First the most obvious reason to be pro-cockstockings is how comfortable they'll make any man and his, ahem, package. Hello -- everything's tucked into one place and sculpted into a tighter, better looking presentation. These manstockings are the perfect smoothing contraption and man girdle in one! It's a mirdle!

Possibly even better -- he'll stop complaining about feeling fat! Hello, instantaneous MUST-BUY. There's nothing worse than your man complaining he's feeling chubster while he's still sporting something resembling a six-pack and you haven't been to the gym in days. Hell, who needs to go to the gym when mantyhose give you the firm feeling of a fantastic workout? Say hello to more time for hanky panky around the house! Because really, who can honestly say that a man wearing tights isn't a sex symbol? Ay carumba!

Most of all, though, the No. 1 reason I would want my man to slip into a pair of guylons is simple: I just wanna watch him squirm. Can he get them on without ripping? Will he understand how NOT easy that is? And shoot, WHAT will he wear them with? Ahhh, the possibilities are endless.

Would you laugh if you saw a man wearing mantyhose?


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