Real Men Shall Wear Tights and They Shall Call Them ‘Mantyhose’

LOL 24

MantyhoseMost fashion trends are in style for a total of a hot minute. One second, we're all over the the leather harness belt like white on rice, and then the next day it's oddly all about human hair necklaces (GAG). Well watch out my fellow fashionistas, because it looks like Mantyhose are on the rise.

Yup. Pantyhose. For men. In all of their stretchtastic, dark-colored, patterned glory. They're so totally hip and happening across the pond in Europe -- so that means it's a trend coming this way soon, right?

The bigger question: Why WOULDN'T you want your man to wear these elastic banded bro hose?

First the most obvious reason to be pro-cockstockings is how comfortable they'll make any man and his, ahem, package. Hello -- everything's tucked into one place and sculpted into a tighter, better looking presentation. These manstockings are the perfect smoothing contraption and man girdle in one! It's a mirdle!

Possibly even better -- he'll stop complaining about feeling fat! Hello, instantaneous MUST-BUY. There's nothing worse than your man complaining he's feeling chubster while he's still sporting something resembling a six-pack and you haven't been to the gym in days. Hell, who needs to go to the gym when mantyhose give you the firm feeling of a fantastic workout? Say hello to more time for hanky panky around the house! Because really, who can honestly say that a man wearing tights isn't a sex symbol? Ay carumba!

Most of all, though, the No. 1 reason I would want my man to slip into a pair of guylons is simple: I just wanna watch him squirm. Can he get them on without ripping? Will he understand how NOT easy that is? And shoot, WHAT will he wear them with? Ahhh, the possibilities are endless.

Would you laugh if you saw a man wearing mantyhose?


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Mamab... MamabearC

Oh good Lord....ROTFLMFAO!!!!

Water... Water_geM

i just want to know one thing?



Samantha Wortham

Well, my husband would look so hot in those. He has the body of a spartan worrior. However, I dont think I could get him to wear them around. LOL

PonyC... PonyChaser

OMG, THEY HAVE THEM WITH STARS!!!!!!!! What are guys supposed to wear them with? A cute denim mini and a pair of kicky heels???

Sorry, unless he's running around in the woods carrying around a broadsword and a bow, and being paid a LOT of money? I'm on the floor laughing at him.

BriLee BriLee

There's no reason a normal guy would need to wear them. What's the point? I would also worry about the man's little boys. You hear about low sperm count and tighty-whities so wouldn't you think these would have the same effect?

Brynne Gaulin

This is just so wrong in so many ways, mainly it's the image of Steve wearing tights.  Which is actually hilarious.

Crank... Crankywitch

I know how pantyhose feel against unshaven legs, and it wasn't comfortable at all. Guess they'll have to smooth up them hairy legs first. Other than that, why not let men torture their bodies in the name of beauty for a change?

nonmember avatar Steve

All I can say is... OMG--not because of the tights shown in the article. No, OMG, I can't believe the level of small-mindedness on display in the foregoing comments. What is the matter with all of you ladies?

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