Amanda Seyfried & Madonna Are Now Officially the Same Person

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amanda seyfriend madonna

Question. What happens when a 26-year-old beauty starts morphing into a 53-year-old woman? Does her voice start to get a little crackly? Do her hands get all veiny? Does she start complaining about hot flashes and minor incontinence? Because frankly, I'm starting to worry about what Amanda Seyfried must be going through. In a matter of weeks, the In Time star has turned into Madonna. She's aged about 30 years and may or may not have completed a metamorphosis only Franz Kafka could be proud of.

If Amanda doesn't make some stylistically improved choices over the next few months, I'll be forced to believe that Amanda is the clone Madonna commissioned and grew in a test tube in her basement. It probably went something like this: When Amanda matured enough, Madonna must have released her from her vertical, body-sized Vaseline container and thrown her onto the cold, concrete floor, nudging her now and again with her boot to make sure she was alive. Amanda must've felt like she'd suddenly been awoken from what she thought was a troubled dream, and found herself changed into some monstrous kind of vermin.

Over the years, everyone would start to wonder if Madonna had done the impossible ... and reversed the aging process. She would appear to be in her late 20s again and no one would know, or care, what ever happened to that girl who made out with Channing Tatum in Dear John. We'd just gawk at the new and improved Material Girl and day-dream about commissioning a younger clone of our own.

What I'm saying is that Amanda is Madonna. Madonna is Amanda. Finkle and Einhorn. Finkle and Einhorn. So whatever is happening to Amanda, it needs to stop. Stop at once.

Do you think they look the same?

 

Photos via Splash News, Scott Helleran/Getty

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