Shaving My Lady Mustache Is Wildly Liberating

bic soleil razorIf you are female with dark hair, then you know what a pain in the ass it is to have to deal with lip hair. Guys — avert your eyes now before you are forever thinking about your lady and her 'stache!

Are you gone? Good ... now I can open up. From the time I was in the fifth grade, I had to contend with the dreaded female mustache. The things we girls do.

First it was bleaching — inexpensive and perfect for an embarrassed tween in an age where you couldn't yet get a wax at every nail salon in town. I actually managed to take bleaching right into my early 20s but was told repeatedly by friends, relatives, and strangers at makeup counters that I was too old for the bleach. Ugh ... waxing. Please ladies, can I get a collective "we feel your pain!"


After succumbing to peer pressure and coming close to permanently scarring my upper lip because of an overzealous waxer and some overly sensitive skin, I called it quits on the hot wax. I chose to tweeze. It worked on my eyebrows — why not my lip?

But then that wasn't good enough. Apparently tweezing was also terrible for me. I moved on to threading ... where some lady would get so uncomfortably close to me that I could feel her breath on my face, and then she would rip hair follicle after hair follicle out of my upper lip with a string. The nice salon atmosphere did nothing to make me feel better. It hurt like hell ... and my lip NEVER got used to the pain.

I couldn't even bring my kids with me because I didn't want them to see me in tears over a 2-minute beauty treatment! It was all so lame. How did I somehow manage to birth two kids without shedding a tear — but at my bi-monthly threading appointments, I was a wreck?

I did think about laser for a fleeting moment but thought it seemed like something only people who went for Botox did. Not that there is anything wrong with Botox, I just wasn't there yet. Clearly I know very little about all of this "beauty stuff." I just don't have the patience for any of it.

But recently my good friend Carrie (we most definitely Jolened together while talking about boys in middle school) began working as a physician's assistant at a dermatology practice that does laser treatments. Once she explained to me how easy it was ... I signed on.

The thing is ... before I can start my laser treatments, I first have to shave for six weeks. You see, the hair on my lip needs to be coarse and dark and the only way to make that happen is to start shaving. And ladies, let me tell you, shaving is the most liberating thing I have ever done. No pain. No appointments. No money exchanging hands. Just me and a razor. And I can do it at my makeup table! LIBERATING.

Of course, I won't have to shave for too much longer because the laser treatments will start and I will be lip-hair-free — but in the meantime — this shaving thing is awesome. And I'm clearly not the first to have thought about shaving my lip! Hmmm ... maybe I don't really need those laser treatments after all.

How do you contend with your lip-hair? Bleaching, waxing, threading, or something else?


Image via

Read More >