Punxsutawney Phil Can Stuff It: Let’s Talk About Flip Flops

flip flopsIt's February and we can't help but dream of jetting down to Miami and leaving the cold, gray skies behind. Ah, sunshine would be nice, wouldn't it? The rays could crack off this layer of dry skin and ice that's been covering us since early December. But alas, here on Groundhog Day, that god awful rodent weatherman let us down and saw his shadow, which means there are six more weeks of winter. Thanks oodles, Punxsutawney Phil. I guess all we can do is dream about the summer, and shorts, and tanks, and flip flops.

Speaking of flip flops (like that segue, do ya?), I saw these and I think we need to talk about them. They're from Sazzi, a self-proclaimed "toe motion footwear" company, and they're so hideous, they make those five-toe running shoes look stylish. How could they do this to summer's coolest and most casual accessory?

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It just doesn't feel right. Flip flops do not deserve to be treated like this. They're not active wear, they're beach wear slash office wear if you're a slob like me. Nothing about them should be healthy or supportive -- the best ones cost $1 and are found in bins at your local drug store.

The flip flop community took a hard blow this morning with the terrible news that groundhog shared, and now this. It feels unfair, somehow, like the world is against us who love a rubber thong sandal.

So, obviously, this pair should be burned at the stake. Maybe on a stake over Pux-a-whatever Phil's little house. They are ugly and offensive and silly -- if you want to go hiking, wear shoes. Your toes don't need to be seen. The end.

Have you seen uglier shoes than this?

 

Photo via sazzi.com

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