13 Things Never to Say to Women With Long Hair

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michele zipp long hairEveryone has an opinion, right? On everything. Which is great. But there are some things people should just keep to themselves sometimes. And one of those "sometimes" is when discussing a woman's hair. Or really, commenting on a lady's locks when she didn't even ask. Of course it's done to women with short hair as well -- these less than polite words that make you feel worse than a perm gone wrong (been there).

I have long hair and heard many, many not-so-nice things that make me wish my hair was made of leather so I can whip some sense into those who say mean things -- had some friends dish some hair-raising things that were said to them, too. So I feel like a good authority to share with you the things you should never say to a woman with long hair. Along with some possible responses.

  1. You would look prettier/younger if your hair was shorter. Wow, that's really sweet of you to say. You would be much more attractive if you didn't speak.
  2. Long hair just attracts rapists. Okay, so this is like saying I am asking for something terrible to happen to me because I have long hair. I have heard that attackers feel they can pull a woman's long hair but I'm also not going to live my life in constant fear of being attacked. (And way to scare a woman!)
  3. Long hair is dangerous to babies since it can get wrapped around fingers, toes .... Thank you for caring about the welfare of my child, but I got this. Just like a boiling pot of water could really hurt my baby, too, I will take the proper precautions to make sure my hair doesn't get wrapped in the wrong places. Or maybe I should cut my hair and never boil water again! In fact, I should remove the stove!
  4. Your husband must get annoyed by all your hair in the drain. Nothing a little Drano can't fix. Don't you wish all "annoyances" can be cleared up with something in a bottle? Oh wait ....
  5. Do you ever get it stuck in your butt crack? This is like asking if I use sex toys for the butt. That's kind of private information.
  6. It's all dead on the ends and looks unhealthy, you should cut it. You look pretty today, too.
  7. Women over the age of 30 shouldn't have long hair. Oh really? What else shouldn't women over the age of 30 no longer be doing? Maybe all over 30s should just hide in their homes because only younger people have certain privileges.
  8. Long hair kind of makes you look like a haggard old witch. No response needed here. We long hairs should just cast a spell on this meanie.
  9. Your face is too round/long/oval to have long hair. I exist to defy shapes and proportions.
  10. It's hiding your face too much, you should pull it back or cut it. Maybe I just don't want you looking at me.
  11. Do you keep it long because your husband likes it like that? Yes, yes I do because I am a subservient wifey and my every move and decision is based on what my husband wants. (Barf.)
  12. Why bother having it long if you wear it up most of the time anyway? Clearly, you don't understand variety. I do wear it down, too. And why is this even your concern?
  13. Modern women wear their hair short these days. Oh but I'm a witch remember? I'm heading to Salem to get burned at the stake -- hell, I'm over 30 and my drains are all clogged, so I shouldn't be living anyway.

Do you have long hair and have heard these comments, too? What annoys you the most about what people say about or to women with long hair?


Image via Michele Zipp

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Kritika Kritika

My sister likes to tell me that I have stripper hair because it's very long and usually straight (naturally wavy and frizzy)...it's more professional to have short hair....blah blah blah...Whatever!!

ethan... ethans_momma06

I have long hair and have never heard these, but I lol'd anyway. And yes. It gets stuck in the drain. Aaand?

nonmember avatar Kristina

When I had long hair, people asked me why I had it long all the time. I told them the truth: I was growing it out to donate to Locks of Love.

zandh... zandhmom2

I also have long hair and have never heard any of these.  Maybe you just have really bad friends. And didn't we just read yesterday about things to never say to someone with short hair? Why does The Stir run the same articles over and over just because they're from different bloggers.  It tends to get old.

Melis... Melissa042807

All the comments I got when I had long hair revolved around how preeeeeetty it was and how I should neeeeeever cut it. Why are others so emotionally invested in MY hair??? And then when I make an offhand comment that it's just about time for me to get a trim, "You mean you don't want to grow it out?" No, I don't. Been there, done that, maybe I'll do it again someday, but not today. 

nonmember avatar Carolyn

I get just as many comments about my curly hair-everyone wanting to know if it is "real" or have I ever thought about using a straightening iron. I guess people think there is only one right way to wear your hair and I am not doing it!

nonmember avatar Darlene

I was blessed with dark auburn curly locks.
Keeping it long throughout my life, (I'm 45) I can wear it anyway I please. Ponytail for feeding babies, cleaning the house; up-do's for just about any occassion and I wear it down when hubby and I go out, holidays etc.
The general misconception by many is that long hair requires hours of up-keep, expensive treatments, loads of styling products is NOT true. Since I've been caring for my hair myself since I was around 8 years old, it's really `trained' almost to do whatever I please on any given day. I love it, and it makes me feel good about myself.

nonmember avatar shishi

I get "You should donate that to locks of love" Really? You should run a maratthon for cancer research. That's what I did...with my long-ass hair blowing in the wind!

Evaly... EvalynCarnate

I never get these comments. People usually love my hair lol

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