5 Things Never to Say to Women With Short Hair

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short hairWhen the "sh*t people say" video meme veered from trying to make people laugh to trying to make boneheads with no tact shut up, I had to jump on board. My 6-foot-tall friend found one dedicated to the ridiculous things she's heard countless times from people who can't get over her height, and I've seen more than a few about race and ethnicity that make me shake with rage.

But all you video makers out there missed a group that hears plenty of comments from the peanut gallery -- and none of them good! We are the ladies who rock a short haircut. And if you think you've got something funny to say to us, do yourself a favor. Don't. Because you'll probably find it lands right there on the list of things we've heard before -- and never want to hear again:

1. Whoa, so what does your husband think? He actually let you do that? -- What is this "let" you speak of?

2. You must have a lot of hats! -- Why? Do I have hat hair? Quick, get me a mirror!

3. You wouldn't be so cold if you grew your hair. You lose most of your heat through your head. -- Actually, scientists debunked that one years ago. I'm cold because it's 12 degrees outside, and you won't shut your trap so I can just walk into the post office and get my mail!

4. I'd love to do that with my hair, but guys don't really like chicks with short hair. -- Wait, back up. Did you just say what you think you said?

5. Are you a lesbian? -- Yes! Didn't you know that the minute a set of clippers touches your scalp, you instantly develop a preference for girls? Your hairdresser may say she is just trying to trim the stray stuff around your ears ... but she's really a secret operative from the lesbianese army!

And now for one I don't mind at all:

Did you have cancer? -- Technically this one is still rude to most ladies with little in the locks department, but I shave my head every year for the St. Baldrick's Foundation, raising money to fight childhood cancer. You just gave me an opening to talk about my favorite charity, so thanks!

Is there a "sh*t people say" video on behalf of you yet? What would it say?

 

Image by Kentrina Kimball

hair, hats, general hilarity