New Year’s Style Resolutions for the Real Housewives

kim zolciakWe all love our Real Housewives for better or for worse, but some of these ladies need help. I'm not talking about mental health, although that is relevant, I'm talking instead about style help. Lord oh lord, I never thought I'd say this, but the Countess was right: Money can't buy you class and, may I add, fashion sense. I don't care how much that sequin jumper cost, Teresa, it's still not cute. And I don't care how fancy your wigs are, Kim, they still look like mops.

But it's a new year and it's a great time to make a change. Whether they're willing or not, these Housewives should resolve to update their style in 2012.


Teresa Giudice may be the worst style offender, but it's hard to say. All of New Jersey is a disaster, but it's kind of why we love them. Who knew all that animal print and glitter were still stocked in stores? Anyway, Teresa's style resolution should be to stop dressing her daughters like they're auditioning for the slutty ice capades. Teresa can dress however she wants, but her poor children -- someone's got to intervene. They look like little versions of Joe Pesci in puffed-up dresses and bows the size of their bankrupted house.

The ladies of Beverly Hills have some of the best style around, but there's always room for improvement. Lisa Vanderpump should resolve to get more conditioning treatments. Love Lisa, in fact, I thought she was best dressed of the lot, but her hair always looks dry and brittle. And Kyle Richards should resolve to cut a foot or two off her "signature" hair. It looks so heavy -- a new 'do might freshen her up a bit.

The Atlanta peaches are a mixed bunch -- Phaedra's got great style and I think Cynthia always looks polished -- but Kim Zolciak needs some help. Besides getting rid of her senseless wigs, Kim should resolve to show less boob in 2012. I'm all for some sexy cleavage, but she pushes her breasts up so high they touch her chin.

And last but not least, Jill Zarin should resolve to leave the '80s ponytail days behind her. I know she's not a cast member any longer (good riddance), but that Madonna pony was so offensive, so tight, and so, so wrong that Jill's worth mentioning here. My eyes still haven't recovered. Hers probably haven't, either.

Can you think of any style resolutions for any of the Housewives?


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