Bad News: Drunk Online Shopping Just Got Easier

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drunk shoppingThere are some enterprising companies out there who are poised to take advantage of our tipsy online shopping habits, and I, for one, will not stand for it. Sites like Gilt Groupe and eBay report that they've seen an conspicuous uptick in purchases in the evening hours and have decided to bait those of us who wander home from happy hour, open our laptops, heat up some shrimp ramen, and virtually hunt for that pair of ankle boots we most certainly do not need with even more sales starting after 9pm.

Great. Just great. Go ahead, Internet e-tailers. Take advantage of our happy, intoxicated moods. Make us think we must have those shearling-lined purple leather gloves. Make us think that Cuba tourist poster would look great in our living room. Go ahead, I dare you. You may take our money, but you will never take our dignity!

OK. That is just not true. Our dignity went out the door after that third Maker's and plate of nachos. However! I just don't know how I feel about sites catering to our drunk online shopping "needs." It seems a little too easy and not at all fair, kind of like shooting fish in a barrel. Well, more like drunk fish in a barrel who are distracted by shiny things and words like "flash sale" "Marc Jacobs" and "Only two left." It seems a little greasy of Gilt to take aim at us while we're swimming in drunk circles, but I guess I can't blame them. Their just doing business and making informed decisions about the sobriety of their users after 9pm -- can't fault a company that knows their audience.

I just wish there was an app on my computer that would force me to do a math problem before I press anything like "purchase" or "buy now." That would save me from my whisky-induced hubris that makes me think I'm super rich and in super need of a J Brand jeans that only come in a size too-small. I'll fit into them in a few months! You know how that story goes.

Anyway, until someone informs me that it's entirely possible to set it up so I must do long-division before I'm allowed to buy anything online after 9pm, I'll have to stay really strong. You do, too. Don't even try to tell me that South African wooden bracelet you're wearing was purchased sober. Don't. Even. Try.

Do you shop while tipsy? Do you shop online after 9pm?

 

Photo via Stephen Cummings/Flickr

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