calorie shaper I've never been so sure of something as I am right at this very moment. I MUST buy the Calorie Shaper. This handy-dandy $32 undergarment from Japan claims to increase the amount of calories burned while simply walking. The commercial. Is. Awesome.

What is it, though? Is it underwear? Are they spandex shorts? Should I wear them while I'm biking to burn quadruple-thousand calories? Whatever, I don't care. I'm going to invest in the magical resin-coated stiff shorts because they could potentially make me toned and give me a backside a la Kim Kardashian. I spend $32 on MUCH sillier things all of the time. Like my boyfriend. It's me time.

I know, you may think this absolutely necessary expenditure is frivolous and ridiculous. Believe me: The Calorie Shaper is NOTHING compared to these 5 other must-have fashion finds from Japan. Starting with the Boob Clamp ...

boob clamp

1. The Boob Clamp: This bustier/bra shelf may be more fun to play with than it is comfortable to wear, but that's the best part! Your man's going to love tugging at your heart strings -- literally!

anti-wrinkle eye glasses

2. Mejikara Anti-Wrinkle Glasses: These sweet $60 glasses remind me of the ones my great grandfather wore to the local Jewish Community Center to play racquetball. Hand me a racket and these babies, and I'm ready to get my head in the game while preventing wrinkles. Two birds, one stone.

beauty nose job

3. Beauty Nose: Why pay thousands upon thousands of dollars for a nose job when you could look super attractive wearing one of these? Actually, forget this. I bet my trusty chip clip from the Christmas Tree Shops will do the job just fine.

diet blue glasses4. Diet Glasses: Calling all Top Gun fans! Supposedly, seeing things through the tinted lenses of these blue diet glasses reduces your appetite and calms you down. Who cares it they work (cough there's no way in hell cough)? They're so fun-looking, I'm totally game!

sauna fat burn face mask for entire face

5. Cogit Sauna Burn Fat Mask: Yes, there is a mask that claims it can burn fat from your entire face, for the low, low price $45.99. Look at how pretty this pink is! My old ski mask is getting kind of dingy. I'll take two!

For your viewing pleasure, take a look at the Calorie Shaper commercial. I dare you not to laugh. Double-dog dare you:

Would you ever buy one of these products -- and if so, which one?

 

Image via YouTube